b3ta.com user SarcasticBarSteward
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» Cougars and Sugar Daddies

Strange that this QOTW popped up this week...
...as it's one in a line of coincidences for Thursday

You might remember my last QOTW post - b3ta.com/questions/gooutwithme/post233039 - about my first love, the Czech girl 7 years older than me...

Well, on Thursday I finally got the guts up to call.

Number not recognised...

But that evening I went to the pub just round the corner from the one I work in and got chatting to a Czech girl. As soon as I heard her accent I continued the conversation in Czech, as her English wasn't up to much.

She asked me how I knew Czech, so I explained... Turns out she's from the same town as the girl I went out with. More questions were asked, and I discovered that she went to school with my ex's sister.

To cut a long story short, the girl from the pub called my ex's sister yesterday morning, and I had a text from my ex an hour later.

She's still single, no kids, and...


Epic win!
(Sat 6th Dec 2008, 23:51, More)

» Nightclubs

just last night...
A drunk guy tried to start a fight with me.

I was about as drunk as him, and in a really silly mood.

He put his face up to mine in a threatening manner.

I licked him from his chin to his ear and whispered "If you don't fuck off now, I'm gonna suck your eyeball out"

He disappeared with a look of combined fear and confusion
(Sun 12th Apr 2009, 15:24, More)

» Nightclubs

Another one from me
As some of you already know, I spent 2 years living in the Czech Republic.

Well, I was walking through Prague late one evening after a night on the tiles, and saw a drunk guy lying in the doorway.

He didn't seem to be very comfortable, so I figured I'd best give him a hand.

I walked over to the inebriate and propped him up. No sooner had I done that, than a cop came and arrested me. I asked what the charge was. The cop replied:

“For righting a bad Czech.”

(Tue 14th Apr 2009, 17:28, More)

» Customers from Hell

You may gather from my name that
I work in a pub.

This happens at least once a week:

Customer orders a pint of their piss-water of choice, I start pouring but the barrel runs out.

Me: Sorry sir, I just need to go and change the barrel

*changes barrel and finishes pouring said pint*

Customer: I don't want that one, it's the end of the barrel

now, this makes no difference when dealing with lagers or nitro-keg stuff, as a: because of the way lager/cider/etc barrels work, the last pint out is actually from the TOP, and b: there's no sediment in this type of barrel. Different story if they were actually drinking a *proper* beer

Me: But sir, the line holds 2 pints. I can pour you another one, but it'll be from even closer to the bottom of the barrel.

Customer: I'd like a fresh one, please.

Also, customers who order a 15-drink round one drink at a time, carrying each back to their mouthbreathing mates before ordering the next one, and THEN order a Guinness

(Fri 5th Sep 2008, 2:25, More)

» Customers from Hell

Just thought of another pub one...
People that whistle to try and get your attention, to which I usually reply:

"You should only whistle for your dog or a taxi. So, do you want me to piss up your leg or run you over?"
(Fri 5th Sep 2008, 20:02, More)
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