b3ta.com user mr schteven
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Greetings! I am a 23 year old Design graduate!
I like playing with photoshop and 3D Studio Max.
I am a fan of whisky and piercings.
I mostly lurk on here, occasionally post whales on stilts.
Clockwork cat
webuyanycat.com has valued my cat at £12.48

webuyanycat.com has valued my cat at £12.48.

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Best answers to questions:

» The nicest thing someone's ever done for me

yay friends
well this is my first post however I has been lurking for a while...
Rather recently my dearest mother departed this world
And I was quite obviously very shaken and upset.
I was living in halls at uni when I got the news and being
All the way up in leedshire it took a few days to organize
Transportations down to oxfordshire.
I will keep it short but just want to thank all my good friends
Who I had only met that very year for being so kind
And helping me through it all before I went home and when I
Got back. Especially to one mate who went through similar
Circumstances but with a much happier ending.
Best friends a guy could ask for, and it meant alot to me.
(Mon 6th Oct 2008, 0:38, More)

» Housemates

Some halls of residance antics.
Well last year I lived in a fairly small accommodation block and a fair few pranks and mishaps were bound to happen when filled with about 40 first year students.
Here are a few of my favourites.

The first and best is when we found out my flatmate Dave's key could open the little room outside that contained the power switches to each flat and CCTV camera monitor. So as was bound to happen we turned off power to a couple of flats and watched as they came out of their doors into the hall way. Power comes back on. They go back in. Power goes off. Repeat until bored.
To spice this up we tied the handles of two opposite flats doors together (as they opened inwards) and then turned the power off again. And watched them struggle to get out on the monitor. hilarious as they got so close to discovering us in the little room but never found out.

The second occurred when we used a screwdriver to get in to the loft and found alot of spare bedside tables. We had a bit of fun piling them up outside peoples front doors knocking and hiding in the opposite flat. At 2am. Needless to say one occupant was not amused and threw them at us. Our response? A rape alarm minus the pin through the letter box half an hour later. I don't think she liked us after that. The tables kept appearing in lots of places (on my bed for instance) until we had to put them back before an inspection.

and a few more for fun.
(1) Bringing next doors picnic benches into our halls pissed out our faces at 2am and leaving them in the stairwells.
(2) Huge flour fight a few weeks after pancake day that covered the stairs and halls. (and us)
(3) CDC graffiti on peoples doors in various substances (still have a pic of a nice shaving foam one)

And finally the most annoying thing that ever happened had to be when some funny fellow decided it would be a brilliant idea to smash in one of the little red fire alarms. The fire alarm went off for about 3 hours from 2am onwards and refused to go off. No one found out who did it sadly.

I think thats about it for now.
(Mon 2nd Mar 2009, 18:53, More)

» Starting something you couldn't finish

Gravity's Rainbow
After hearing many good things about Thomas Pynchon, V being one of the books mentioned in detail, I decided to give it a read, however rather than buying V I thought I would give Gravity's Rainbow a go.
The plot based around V2 rockets appealed to me, what can I say.
However after countless attempts I seem to get so far before something else pops up. The best I ever managed was on a bus ride from Leeds to Nottingham (and back again) where I managed to get rather far (at least I think so) into the story, and as much as I enjoy reading it I just never found the time during my degree to give it all of my attention.

Although saying that, having now finished my degree I reckon it is a good a time as any to pick it up again and finish reading it. It is very well written and I have enjoyed it so far.

Damn you lengthy time consuming books! I need more time in the day to read you!
(Mon 28th Jun 2010, 2:25, More)

» Vomit Pt2

Rapists Tears.
It was only last summer and me and some fellow cohorts had gone forth on our annual camping trip to a large festival in some field in the middle of nowhere. Usual sort of deal, live in a tent for four days, live off nothing but alcohol and pot noodles plus whatever greasy food you find at the burger vans. (although there was actually a hog roast stand which was pretty good)
Normally this wouldn't have been so bad, however after a night of drinking my friends home-brewed ales, one of which was known as "Rapists Tears" (said so on the plastic keg) i was feeling a bit worse for wear and collapsed in my tent. Now... rapists tears has been known to bring a 30something year old man with twice my constitution to the floor, and being a 20something student i can normally handle a good amount of booze, so woke up the next day feeling utterly shite however the birds were swaying and the trees were singing so all seemed fine in my opinion, so nipped down to the big tent we had set up, and munched on a pot noodle for breakfast.
Now this is where it all went wrong, after my morning cig i stood up and felt a bit woozy.
Oh dear.... best nip down to the portajohns.
However half way there a large amount of vomit was already in my mouth, not a good sign, so i ran into the portajohn trying to fold back the tides of rapist's induced vomit, locked the door, turned to face the john and...
Shit loads of Noodles.
All over the back wall.
The side walls.
The floor.
And around the toilet, but not so much in it.
Que me exiting the john, trying to look inconspicuous and slink back to our groups tent before anyone notices.
(Fri 8th Jan 2010, 1:31, More)

» Bullies

This happened yesterday so I find it is appropriate for this qotw
It was a cloudy missedable day. But this mattered not for I was to hit the town that evening for a night of drinking and heavy metal. It was going to be a good way to celebrate my 21st birthday and I planned on forgetting my studies for 1 night of good old fashioned intoxication.

So it being 3pm me and my housemate matt (for that is his name) decided that some bacon sandwiches were in order but alas we had no butter! Bugger thinks I.
To the shops then!

We passed some young wannabe gangster types that attend the school at the end of my road. It is a typical inner city school where most of the students will probably be in prison soon after leaving.

So we take the short cut through a small alley way when we pass one of these miscreant teens on a bike. I thinks nothing of it and pass him and exit the alleyway.

Hold on a second. Where is matt? So I turn around. These teens had surrounded him outnumbering him 8 to 1. They were pushing him around and were after his wallet.

Right then. I am not going to stand for some 17 year old pikeys pushing my friend around so I dive back into the alleyway in an effort to save him.
(the following may or may not have happened)
Limbs flew as bone was hacked and flesh was torn to pieces such was the almighty strength of my assault. Heads rolled and blood was spilled. Arrows jarred in the eyes of young chav miscreants. I let out an all mighty roar such was the intensity of my rage. At last I stopped and looked around the killing field in this small alleyway. Matt looked appauled by the bloody carnage that surrounded us. Serves them right says I. And we went and brought some butter.

Bacon sandwiches had never tasted so good.

(In reality I got pushed over but managed to grab matts wallet. I was then kicked in the head repeatedly until I heard matt eventually say give them the wallet schteven. If I had not been snapped out of my adrenaline rush I probably would have been kicked unconcious. Luckily they did not get my wallet or my iPhone off me so I rang the police and wasted the evening giving a statement at the police station. I did however go out after and get very very drunk.)

Not quite bullying as such but it is close enough to squeeze into this qotw.
(Wed 20th May 2009, 16:33, More)
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