b3ta.com user leglesss
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» Things we do to fit in

I am a sad old man......
And I have to make up stories on some crappy forum so I can fit in with a bunch of other wankers that I have never met, just to soothe my old man ego that actually, sitting in a dark room on a weekend evening, with my wife having left me and taken the kids, and no chance of ever finding a lady friend again, is a cool and smart way to live my life.

As long as I have the approval of strangers, I am a cool dude.

Or a sad old man.
You choose..............
(Sun 18th Jan 2009, 1:33, More)

» Tightwads

I do my food shopping after 6pm in the supermarket
and leave with a trolley full of yellow stickers. I don't see the point in paying full price when you can get it marked down so much cheaper at the end of the day.

However, Mr Stella won't eat reduced food so I remove the yellow stickers before he comes home from work.

He's none the wiser and I have money left at the weekend for treats!!
(Thu 23rd Oct 2008, 20:56, More)

» Tightwads

My next door neighbour....
Back in the day, before Baby Stella put in an appearance, we lived in a small house next door to Mr and Mrs Stingy. They have been friends of ours and when we were looking for somewhere to live they found got us the house next door to them when the previous occupant, left, but I digress.....

It's lovely living next door your best mates, popping in and out for coffe. Run out of milk, sugar, beans? Wayhey, pop next door!

More often than not, on a Friday, the boys would be in next doors house smoking on 'tweed and playing Xbox, and us girlies would be in our house drinking wine and watching whatever soppy girly crap the men refused to watch.

However, it took me a few weeks to realise that it was me buying the wine, every week. Now Mrs Stingy gets paid 20k a year, Mr is not far behind her. Rent in those houses is only £350 a month. This was last year. Between them they have several nice vehicles.

It got to the point where I started buying 2 bottles of wine an evening, as one just isn't enough. And I don't like cheap wine. Subtle hints that it was her turn were just ignored. I stopped buying 2 bottles, just bought the one, and waited for her to go home before I opened it. Sometimes she stayed so late I didn't get to drink it. I was at my wits end. Goddamned if I'm going to subsidise her friday night drinking, this even continued while I was out of work for a while.

Finally my sister hit upon the perfect plan. I would ring her from the supermarket, say I was picking up a bottle of wine, and if she wanted one I would get it and and she could sort me out* when she came over! Job done! End of story? Not on your Nelly!

I haven't been drinking for a while as I got myself all pregnant, moved to a bigger house, and last month, when Baby Stella was 10 weeks old, the boys all went out on a stag do, and as I can't go out I invited the girls round here for a drink. Mrs Stingy was the only one that had no booze on her. Eyes were rolling so much I offered to walk to the offy** with her. She spied a nice bottle of Vodka, and said she would go halfs with R on it. She also declared she couldn't give R half the money yet as she only has her card on her, no cash (I am wise to this trick now, she always does it) so I told her to put it on her card and R could give her half back in cash. Lovely, all sorted. (Except R *didn't have enough cash* on her anyway, and I *forgot* to take my purse with me, so Mrs Stingy paid)

The best bit is, she got called away early for some reason or another, R couldn't drink much as her kiddie was at home, and I refused to let Mrs Stingy take the vodka, saying leave it here and share it with R next girls night in.
The next time she came around, as I was letting Mrs S in, Mr Stella was instructed to hide the vodka. Out of sight, out of mind. Then on the Friday afternoon, my mum took the baby, R's dad was picking her kiddie up from school and we drank the fucking lot.

So cheers Mrs Stingy, you tight arse fucker, me and R had the best afternoon ever on you, thanks a lot. I feel we deserved it!

This is the same Mrs Stingy that charged me £15 quid in petrol to pick me up from the hospital after I went there in an ambulance because Baby Stella stopped breathing, then about 3 days later got me to take her to the same hospital as she fell off her horse (her horse mind you, those fuckers don't come cheap!) and broke her leg! Did she give me the £15 quid back and call it quits? Did she Feck!

Best go now, it's Friday, she'll be here soon and I have to finish the wine before she shows up!

*with the cash, dirty b3tans!
** off licence

Length, this has been going on for 6 years!

Edit: She would also bring her phone to my house to charge it, and was always at my house when it was cold, to save her putting her own heating on I assume.
(Fri 24th Oct 2008, 21:57, More)

» Common

People on this QOTW being nasty...
about people who aren't exactly like them.

(Mon 20th Oct 2008, 1:20, More)

» Spoilt Brats

oooh-errrr, sorry!
Long time lurker, first time poster, please be gentle!

I am making my apologies in advance for whoever has the misfotune of crossing my daughter in the future! It took me a very long time to get preggers on her and now she is here and 3 months old, and she is spoilt rotten. Not by myself or Mr Stella, but by papa Stella.

That's right, my daddy dearest, is spoiling my baby girl rotten. Already she won't go to sleep unless she's being walked around the living room. She's 12 weeks old and I had a bank statement for her, that my dad has been doing for her. £316!!!! My sister is also not helping matters much, she already has a good sized wardrobe, full of brand name clothes. Roxy Baby mostly, and a pair of baby Uggs. BABY UGGS!! Even I don't have Uggs!

I've been reading your stories and my blood is running colder and colder, I need to nip this in the bud now, before darling Baby Stella ends up like the horrid spoilt brats I've just spent the last half hour reading about.

(Wed 15th Oct 2008, 1:02, More)
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