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» Conversation Killers
Science lab
Was in a first-year university science course lab. Students paired off into partners at lab stations. There was this girl I always flirted with in class and she coyly agreed to be my "partner" and we had a giggle at the double-entendre. We were sat side-by-side in front of a lab table with equipment and whatnot, me on cloud nine, and angling to score a date.
The task of the lab was to calibrate a thermocouple, which required a small vacuum beaker of liquid nitrogen. The professor came round to each station to fill the beakers from a large insulated flask.
Just before he started pouring our beaker, I let go a silent fart... that smelled like the apocolypse.
As the cold liquid nitrogen filled our beaker, she said, "Ew, that stuff stinks" and covered her face with her hand. The professor was not sure what to make of her comment, and said that it was an odorless liquid/gas so it shouldn't have a smell, then he looked at me, with my beet-red face... then she looked at me, and all was clear.
We did our task in silence, and never spoke to each other again.
(Sun 15th May 2011, 22:11, More)
Science lab
Was in a first-year university science course lab. Students paired off into partners at lab stations. There was this girl I always flirted with in class and she coyly agreed to be my "partner" and we had a giggle at the double-entendre. We were sat side-by-side in front of a lab table with equipment and whatnot, me on cloud nine, and angling to score a date.
The task of the lab was to calibrate a thermocouple, which required a small vacuum beaker of liquid nitrogen. The professor came round to each station to fill the beakers from a large insulated flask.
Just before he started pouring our beaker, I let go a silent fart... that smelled like the apocolypse.
As the cold liquid nitrogen filled our beaker, she said, "Ew, that stuff stinks" and covered her face with her hand. The professor was not sure what to make of her comment, and said that it was an odorless liquid/gas so it shouldn't have a smell, then he looked at me, with my beet-red face... then she looked at me, and all was clear.
We did our task in silence, and never spoke to each other again.
(Sun 15th May 2011, 22:11, More)
» Surprise!
What were you hoping for?
Was at parents' house over holidays, a non-smoking environment. Couldn't sleep, so stepped out for a smoke on the back porch about one o'clock in the morning. Got a bit chilly so I decided to stand in the doorway to finish the butt.
Kids use the backyard as a shortcut and I see a couple guys walking into the yard as I stomp my ciggy just outside the door. They veer toward the back of the house, slow down, then sneak up on the porch. One walks up to the door - I recognize him as one of the neighbors from around the corner, about 14 years old maybe. As he reaches for the door - now just ajar - I flick on the porch light, open the door wide and yell in what I thought sounded like a combination of Salvador Dali and James Earl Jones, "What were you hoping for?!"
The next thing I saw was the kid jumping off the porch to my left while his buddy all but fell over the railing behind him. The only things missing from that home-breaking were cartoon noises for the would-be bandits' escape.
(Sat 6th Apr 2013, 2:06, More)
What were you hoping for?
Was at parents' house over holidays, a non-smoking environment. Couldn't sleep, so stepped out for a smoke on the back porch about one o'clock in the morning. Got a bit chilly so I decided to stand in the doorway to finish the butt.
Kids use the backyard as a shortcut and I see a couple guys walking into the yard as I stomp my ciggy just outside the door. They veer toward the back of the house, slow down, then sneak up on the porch. One walks up to the door - I recognize him as one of the neighbors from around the corner, about 14 years old maybe. As he reaches for the door - now just ajar - I flick on the porch light, open the door wide and yell in what I thought sounded like a combination of Salvador Dali and James Earl Jones, "What were you hoping for?!"
The next thing I saw was the kid jumping off the porch to my left while his buddy all but fell over the railing behind him. The only things missing from that home-breaking were cartoon noises for the would-be bandits' escape.
(Sat 6th Apr 2013, 2:06, More)
» Killed to DEATH
Did that just happen?
Took my dad's 10-speed bicycle out for a ride one afternoon when I was 12 or 13. Didn't know the shift mechanism well and was periodically looking down at the levers on the frame (ah, old school). Coming down the drive at a wobbly pace whilst shifting, out of the top of my visual field I see something that looked like a frog's head on the right of the front wheel and its hind quarters on the left side of the front wheel. Being a gravel drive, it was hard to tell if I had seen that or if it was an illusion formed by the gravel. So, I stopped a short ways ahead, and went back on foot. I found two things; one, that there was an ex-frog whose back conformed to a bicycle tire rut and, two, it was not an illusion.
(Sat 24th Dec 2011, 5:18, More)
Did that just happen?
Took my dad's 10-speed bicycle out for a ride one afternoon when I was 12 or 13. Didn't know the shift mechanism well and was periodically looking down at the levers on the frame (ah, old school). Coming down the drive at a wobbly pace whilst shifting, out of the top of my visual field I see something that looked like a frog's head on the right of the front wheel and its hind quarters on the left side of the front wheel. Being a gravel drive, it was hard to tell if I had seen that or if it was an illusion formed by the gravel. So, I stopped a short ways ahead, and went back on foot. I found two things; one, that there was an ex-frog whose back conformed to a bicycle tire rut and, two, it was not an illusion.
(Sat 24th Dec 2011, 5:18, More)