» I don't understand the attraction

fog lights
I've got to be careful this doesn't just turn into a list of things I don't care for, but I honestly don't see the attraction of:

- driving with fogs on permanently, your car doesn't look better but you look like even more of a wanker
- caviar?!
- fake breasts
-football - bunch of overpaid nancy boys poncing around over a poxy leather sphere for 90 minutes, seriously WTF!? And I wouldn't be surprised if most of them didn't have a drama degree or some sort of acting qualification too!

I'm sure i'll think of many more, but this will get the ball rolling, fnar fnar.
(Thu 15th Oct 2009, 15:11, More)

» Cringe!

First and last time I ever have a soup starter
I had a hideously cringe worthy moment just yesterday. I met the wife for lunch at the local Thai and we decided to have 2 course. The only problem was I was a tad jumpy in case said wife realised that the staff were a little too friendly to me, and thus realised that I'd been there more than the 1 time i'd owned up to (she doesn't like me spending money on lunch!)

Anyway, I decided to order soup as a starter, sometime i've NEVER done before or will ever do again. So the soup is ordered, is tasted and is delicious but sadly the chunks of chicken are too large to manage in one bite. I endavour to "slice" the chicken chunk with the huge blunt special thai soup eating spoon and tip the entire contents all over my lap, shirt, table, floor, shoes chair, everywhere!

So i'm frantically trying to clear up, trying not to lose face and not let on to the owners that i've made the mess of a very small child! Needless to say everyone noticed, including the table of 6 work colleagues sitting directly behind me.

Spent the entire day covered in and smelling of thai hot and sour soup.

/pop first proper post, be kind?

Distinct lack of funny or one of the infuriating puns that seem to be so popular. Also, no length joke either, as frankly I don't get them!
(Fri 28th Nov 2008, 14:04, More)

» IT Support

Forgotten password within 10 seconds?
I have worked in ICT Support for the last 10 years and I have so many stories! I won't bore you with most of them, but one that literally just occurred made me laugh. I can understand some people "not being technical" but sometimes all common sense and basic intelligence disappears too!

user - I've been to my password expires but can't remember the old one
me - but didn't you just type the old one in, for it to be accepted and ask you to change to a new one?
user - yes, but by having to think of a new one, I've forgotten the old one

Seriously, she typed it 5 seconds before she was told it had expired, and she couldn't remember it!?

I'm sure I'll post more over the next week, lots of short ones though not a big long one (as always, apologies for length, or lack of it!)
(Fri 25th Sep 2009, 10:47, More)

» Bizarre habits

reading the labels on products in the bathroom
I have many odd habits but one that isn't too wierd (at least in my opinion) is that I can't go number 2 without something to read. Consequently I will read anything that comes to hand, generally the ingredients list on the back of shampoo, deodorant etc etc.

I have to check that the alarm clock is turned off 5 times before leaving the house, as well as checking the iron is off when I leave, then once the door is closed I have to go back in and check again. Fairly routine stuff I think.

I also make lists about everything, I fill my Outlook calendar with simple tasks that a better man wouldn't even need to write down let alone commit to the diary, sync to the iphone and even then constantly worry about until the task is complete.

Blah blah lack of unfunnies, apologies, obligatory length joke etc etc
(Tue 6th Jul 2010, 12:50, More)

» Old stuff I still know

not terribly interesting and will spawn a list I guess!
How to get golden sonic on the mega drive (sonic 2)
where all the secret pipes are in Mario on the NES
programming in basic
how to ride a bike :P
the commands required to backup the old system they still use in my last job in the NHS that backs up on those reel to reel tapes (which they only stopped doing in 2006!!!)
How to change the boot image for windows 95/98
2 phone numbers I've not used since 1996 (granted not really a skill!)
Product codes from my old job for installing Windows 95, Windows 98 and XP and Office 2000

sure I'll think of more
(Fri 1st Jul 2011, 11:15, More)