b3ta.com user sebmcr
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» Dodgy boozers

I work in a shit country pub
run by a mad bloke and his wife, who yesterday (before going on a cruise with the band Train, who they love - mad), decided to pay me £200 in pound coins and the other £247.97 by form of a cheque that was left as payment for a large dinner for 25 where the recipient had not been filled in. I'm still in shock.
(Tue 11th Feb 2014, 13:02, More)

» Things we do to fit in

If only she had a cat
My first attempt so apologies if not entertained

The joining in with bullying of others in order to draw attention away from ones own shortcomings and uncoolness seems to be the most common theme here so i shall steer clear of it, mainly as i cant think of any particularly funny incidents, all just embarrassing to look back on.

So fast forward to 2006, meet M - a North American girl who was a friend of a vague acquaintance i bumped into whilst haunting the nightclub i worked at. In the words of Lord Flashheart 'Woof'. Later on I discover her previous occupation - stripper. I have a pretty low opinion of myself when it comes to the wooing of the opposite sex, so was more than a little surprised when on next crossing paths she offered to exchange numbers. Surely a joke methinks, or maybe she wants to milk me for free guest-list at my work, like so many others (bastards, have now stopped falling for this as its just mean to get my hopes up!). Cutting to the chase, turns out she liked me, and ended up back at hers with friends one night. And here the fitting in started. I had only one thing in mind, 'fitting in' the lady in question, but there were several things i did in order to achieve this i don't think it was worth it in the end. Starting with her twattish mates, the loud coke snorting indie types (i am an indie type, must admit, but these were utter cocks), forcing myself to agree with the bollocks spouting from their unshaven, unthinking and uninteresting faces. The kind of people who talk for 3 hours about the greatness of this or that band and how much better they are than everyone... *nods off*
This as well as having to join in the aforementioned snorting of class A drugs, i'm still rather embarrassed i crumbled to easily, but i was on a mission. She was a thick as shit spoilt brat by the way, with a fierce coke habit and who's first car was a Lexus, and who's family owned three houses in North America. Twunts one might say. So suffice to say any kind of meaningful conversation, understanding or general empathy was way out. So normal me conversations were out, and had to comply to the rules stated above. the worst part, and i'm coming to a close, was the bloody dog. I hate dogs. I was savagely bitten by one as a child leaving me with much scarring, yet here it was, the devils spawn. A chihuaua. A yapping little skinny frame of brown carpet bounding about where it really wasn't wanted. Must add i'm very allergic to dogs and so here was my worst fitting in, i went home after each visit tears streaming, skin burning, and wheezing worse than Bobby George, i wouldn't normalise for 2 days at which point id go back round. Anyway got bored of that after a few months. Cats i can tolerate, if only she had a cat.

Apologies for length
(Thu 15th Jan 2009, 16:31, More)

» Conspiracy theory nutters

Crazy Bus Lady
Anyone who has spent time traveling up and down Oxford Road in Manchester must at some point have come across this lady. She hands out pieces of paper covered in incoherent ramblings and random bits of photocopied letters. From speaking to her i have managed to work out that her husband left her, taking her sons (who are currently at the university in manchester) and then she was sectioned or something like that. Then she was in hospital and at this point the masons wanted her dead. Apparently they tried to kill her twice. Also she got hit by a bus once, and the driver was also in the masons she told me. Quite often now when on the bus it will stop and let someone off, and you will hear 5 seconds of insane preaching through the door before the driver thinks sod this and closes the door on her. She has a facebook and has featured in student direct more than once.
(Thu 27th Aug 2009, 15:06, More)