b3ta.com user DSV
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» Siblings

Cross-dressing; fire; poo
My brother and I get on well now, but possibly only because his mind has blocked out the following:

The time when, purely for logistical reasons ("it says age 4 on the label, he is 4, QED...") I experimented with putting him in my nurse's outfit. To be fair, I was the only one who got bollocked by our dad.

The time when I set fire to the carpet and not only blamed him for it, but convinced him it was true.

The time when, for reasons that are unimportant but valid, honest, I made him poo in the garden and convinced my dad that a fox did it.

Merry Xmas bro ;)
(Mon 29th Dec 2008, 14:42, More)

» I'm going to Hell...

Oh crumbs, here comes typecasting
It was probably bad enough that I slept with my ex after he got married and whilst I was engaged to someone else...

...so I probably didn't need to sleep with my mate's sister and cop off with his girlfriend...

...but just to be on the safe side I pissed in a graveyard in Coventry last time I got held up in traffic on the way to IKEA. As did my mum.
(Thu 11th Dec 2008, 19:39, More)

» Cougars and Sugar Daddies

How To Win Friends And Influence People
1) Throw drink over someone.
2) Realise a fraction of a second too late that he's actually really good looking.
3) Apologise sincerely and buy him a drink.
4) Marvel at his powers of forgiveness from the comfort of under the duvet - such lovely manners.

Me? 31. Him: 23. As Sharon Stone once said - "not bad for an old broad". Although I might revert to just starting conversations in future...
(Wed 10th Dec 2008, 22:29, More)