Rest. Work. Play.

My Site
(Thu 23rd Feb 2006, 21:03, More)

Advertisement Break!

May also work in some cases of Agoraphobia - batteries not included - always read the label
(Mon 17th May 2004, 21:02, More)

HULK SMASH GRAPES! HULK MAKE FINE WINE!

Smash with your cursor for Hulk sized.
(Sun 22nd Jun 2003, 18:54, More)

Jehovah's Agents...

Yay! I finally got another FP! Check out my webcomic, Bollox too!
(Sat 21st Jun 2003, 16:22, More)

The rehearsals for the stage show version of Shark Vs Helicopter was going well...

All they needed now was twelve people to be the helicopter...

Whee! Front Page! Here's my Shark/Helicopter gallery!
(Thu 13th Mar 2003, 19:33, More)

Revenge is sweet

(Sat 8th Mar 2003, 16:00, More)

Run away!


It's an vampire horse!

EDIT: Whee my first frontpage! Here my gallery!
(Fri 7th Mar 2003, 20:29, More)

» Have you ever paid for sex?

Yes - but a bargain!
I received an email called "The Sleaze Quiz". You give answers to sex questions and it tells you how sleazy you are. My girlfriend and I filled it in and were just short of being "a danger to society."

One question was "Have you ever paid for sex?" So in an effort to bump up numbers, I paid my girlfriend that night for sex.

Cost? 1 penny. Ace!

/Apologies for patheticness
(Fri 20th Jan 2006, 8:13, More)

» Breasts

I have a tendency to impale large-chested women with pickaxes and try to climb up their still twitching bodies.
It's just I get so easily confused if they're not small and humble.
(Thu 6th May 2010, 13:50, More)

» Tramps

London tramps are best.
Whilst queuing up to get into a club, a mad homeless black fella was marching up and down the queue saying, "Hey, who wanna fight, eh? I'm Muhammad Ali! Who wanna fight?"
He then heard some music from the club, started dancing on the spot and shouting, "Now I'm Bob Marley!"

Another tramp decided to sit with me and my mates whilst we had a bit of lunch in the park.
He said to us, "I have 5 daughters, 9 turtles and 9 daughters."
(Fri 3rd Jul 2009, 8:37, More)

» Mugged

I'm not sure I believe it, but my mum assures me it's true.
My aunt was walking down the road with a Sainsburys carrier bag, when some chavvy bloke grabbed it and ran off.

Contents of bag: 1 dead cat that my aunt had had put down earlier that day.
(Tue 20th Jun 2006, 11:29, More)

» Conspiracy theory nutters

My paranoid schizophrenic great-uncle
thought that 9/11 was caused by underground Nazis.

Because, he said, "the Arabs couldn't build a bomb to save their lives."

Which, when you think about it, is technically correct.
(Fri 28th Aug 2009, 13:39, More)