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Profile for A Wooden Leg Named Smith:
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Argh! The metaphorical Fear!

Note to self: GET SOME PICTURES.

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Best answers to questions:

» Sleepwalking

Ah yes
Friend of mine, can't be arsed to think of a clever code so let's call him Steve.
We got completely destroyed on weed and liquor and since we could barely remember how to get to the door, he crashed at my place for the night.
Wake up in the middle of the night to discover:
a) Steve is suddenly in my bed.
b) Yep, still wasted.
c) Steve is shaking me awake, a look of panic on his face as he tells me that he'd lost track of time and we had to leave soon.

Immediately after this he passes straight out. Odd, I thought. Since my mind wasn't in any condition to remember pressing activities on my schedule, I began to panic he actually meant it. So it was my turn to shake him awake. He sat bolt upright and resumed panicking.
"Smith, we've got to get to the airport!"

He passed out again. I realized that Steve was just drunk talking at this point, but he kept waking up and weaving an increasingly elaborate story about how we would miss our flight if we didn't leave soon, and how they would lose our luggage. Never did find out where we were headed.

Apologies for (insert knob joke here)
(Fri 24th Aug 2007, 19:05, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

Most of the graffiti I've seen has been rather tame, although I myself am on a personal mission to deface every air dryer in the world with the old "Press Button, Receive Bacon".

It's not original, and it's as old as air dryers themselves, but somehow it always makes me smile.
(Sun 6th May 2007, 20:32, More)

» Foot in Mouth Syndrome

Nothing big for me.
I was a small child, and for some reason, under the impression that imbecile was another word for old people. Didn't go over very well with my parents when I was describing my new teacher.

I've been on the recieving end several times when someone would be acting somewhat like a spaz, and someone else would say something brilliant like 'forget to take your ritalin this morning?'

At which point I, a totally normal person other than Attention Deficit Disorder, will usually pull some out of my pocket, and simply say 'No, it's right here.' Before walking away. Oh, the looks on their faces!

Oh, and blindmelon? The Jig is up. www.snopes.com/college/risque/telltale.asp
(Thu 22nd Apr 2004, 19:15, More)

» Worst Record Ever

When I was in high school
they - wait a minute I sounded like my grandfather there. To clarify: I graduated in June. Right then. They would play songs over the PA system right after the morning bell rang, presumably to wake us up. This was always rather interesting. Once, for about a month, they played something which could best be described as jungle porno music. Another one was a techno remix of one of Bach's sonatas. Ouch. On one specific day, for no apparent reason, they played the background music from various levels in one of the NES Megaman games. (It bothered me deeply that I could recognise the levels some of them were from.) But the worst? Every year the drama department put on a play. Always a musical. And, once the official rehearsals had begun, they would play songs from the musical in the morning for weeks. This last year, they did 'The Sound of Music.' Nothing like being half-asleep, walking to class, and listening to that accursed 'So Long, fair well' song.
(Thu 4th Dec 2003, 14:50, More)

» Failed

I fail to see the humour value in this particular QOTW.
It's insanely depressing, actually.
(Fri 5th Jan 2007, 18:01, More)
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