b3ta.com user uncle_bud
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» The thing I've been most ashamed of doing with a penis

Rodney's Penis
From Rodney Carrington.

Dear Penis,
I don't think I like anymore,
You used to watch me shave,
Now all u do is stare at the floor.
Oh dear Penis,
I don't like you anymore.

It used to be u and me,
A paper towel, and a dirty magazine,
That's all we needed to get by.
Now it seems things have changed,
I think that your the one to blame.
Dear Penis,
I don't like u anymore.

Now he sings,

Dear Rodney,
I don't think I like u anymore,
'Cause when u get to drinkin'
You put me places I've never been before.
Dear Rodney,
I dont like u anymore.

Why can't we just get a grip,
On our man to hand relationship.
Come to terms with truly how we feel.
If we put our heads together,
We'd just stay home forever,
Dear Penis,
I think I like you after all.

Oh and Rodney,
While yer shavin',
Shave my balls
(Fri 13th Mar 2009, 21:45, More)

» Babysitters

Industrial Scale Babysitting
My mother and older sister used to work at a day care center for mentally retarded children. This was back in the day when they were still called mentally retarded. I think the term nowadays is developmentally disabled. Medically the children were classified as Down's Syndrome, infantile autism, etc., but operationally two important classifications were eaters and runners. The eaters would eat anything, and I mean anything, such as cleaning gloves. The runners would bolt out the door at any opportunity and would be down the street in a flash. Fun times.
(Fri 29th Oct 2010, 15:32, More)

» Why will you burn in hell?

I haven't been very bad ...
... so I guess that I am danged to heck.
(Sat 14th Jul 2012, 23:40, More)

» Teenage Crushes - Part Two

Morticia Addams
I was fond of Carolyn Jones done up as Morticia Addams in the TV series.
(Fri 6th Nov 2009, 19:26, More)

» Bullshit and Bullshitters

I can call spirits from the vasty deep.
But they don't ever come when I call, the lazy bastards.
(Tue 18th Jan 2011, 1:29, More)
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