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I've been lurking on b3ta since I was a tiny little boy with a twisted, sick, sense of humor. About a year ago, I decided to register and start posting. I got to the part where I registered, and never got around to posting. I live in Anchorage, Alaska.. attended middle/high school here, and am going to college here for monetary incentives. Nothin' too exciting about me, I guess. Sorry.

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» Good Advice

I used to worry about things....
Things like what people thought about me, whether I might finish a world-shatteringly important paper on time, whether I might get that job, whether talking to that gorgeous girl in the short-shorts in gym class would end badly... Things like that. One day, my dad sat me down, looked me in the eye, and said..

"If you worry, you're going to die. If you don't worry, you're STILL going to die. So why worry?"

He died in my arms at 4:00am of the next day. Dying breath, he closed his eyes, said, "You're still going to die." I've followed the advice like a mantra for most of my life.

First legitimate post, I think?
(Fri 21st May 2010, 8:06, More)

» Bad Management

I'm Fairly Certain My Boss is Coming on to Me
I got in with my boss. I'll be forward about it, I came onto her (hah) and she let me have a crack at her minge. Now, I know for a fact that I'm not the first to have done this (I've walked in on one coworker getting a "review"), but I had somewhat expected to be the first of the day. I was working my mouthy magic on her (overused) Eye of Sauron when I felt something slip in my mouth. It tasted like licorice.
Spat it out, spluttered
"The hell? Is this a goddamn breathmint?"
Her: "Oh, tits."
"It's licorice. I really hate licorice."

That was my Bad Minge Mint.
(Sun 13th Jun 2010, 10:38, More)

» Ouch!

At my cabin
I was four-wheeling alone (http://www.legionglobal.net/images/400cc%20ATV.JPG), about eight miles out on some back-country trails. It had rained the previous week, with me stuck inside the cabin doing various fix-it things, so I was pretty excited to go riding and was probably revving it a bit faster than I had to. I was along one path, going much too fast for the path itself, and hit a puddle so caked with mud and dust that I couldn't see it. I hydroplaned, hit the other side, and was flipped over the handlebars forwards a good eight feet. Landed spread-eagle on my back. Stunned, dazed, I lay where I landed for a few moments. My ATV, on the other hand, is not content to have simply bucked me off. It flipped front-over-back, landed the back cargo bumper right on my elbow. That was the most intense pain I've ever felt. I get up after a few minutes of griping and yelling and denouncing ever god I'd ever heard of, and realized I had to get myself 8 miles back to my cabin, and my ATV was on its back. Eventually got it flipped right-side-up, drove it one-handed back to the cabin, and got to the local doctor. Turns out I shattered almost every bone in my forearm, and somehow bruised the bones of two of my ribs. Cast, recouperation for ages, the works. it was unpleasant.
(Sat 31st Jul 2010, 8:38, More)

» Bizarre habits

OCD?
I prefer "CDO"... It's just like "OCD", but all the letters are in the right order.

Seriously, though, I get really irritated if stacks of money are disorderly. All the bills must be facing the same direction, with the bottom of the bill to the right, without any major creases, and in ascending order top to bottom if in one pile. Working as essentially a cashier, this means my drawer is god-damned perfect.
(Fri 2nd Jul 2010, 10:43, More)