b3ta.com user stitched
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» The most childish thing you've done as an adult

my dad
has the mind of an 8 year old i swear, there are too many to list but here are my personal favourites.

some mornings he likes to pretend he's a marine and will run around our living room throwing himself behind
the chairs while making bomb noises and screaming
he does the same when he's on video call to his friend... though they pretend to shoot each other and hide
under the desk where the camera cant see them.

one day he got a new cordless drill, he was in the back room being unusually quiet. 10 minutes later
he burst through the door wearing a dust mask, holding the drill running around and making chainsaw noises.
when asked why: "its cause i'm that one in texas chainsaw massacre!"
yes dad of course you are dad

my dad is bald, and when i was 17 it was the first time i'd brought my boyfriend at the time to my house.
i walked through the door and he was wearing the dodgiest wig i've ever seen in my life and then spoke with a german accent.
i could have strangled him.

(Sat 19th Sep 2009, 22:54, More)

» Bullies

from cool to "gay" in 5 seconds
i'm 18 years old and recently was on my way home from work and was walking up the back street
near this club were they have metal bands on for 12-18 year olds. i used to go there but stopped going because well i could legally drink
so the few of us who'd been going since we were 12 had kinda moved on to other places.

i noticed there weren't many kids outside, only about 10 of them, which if it was bad weather was expected as they'd be let in early but it was a nice night.
so as i was walking past one of the lads shouted me over, he was my friends little brother and only about 13 years old.i went over and
was having a chat with him when i noticed about 7 or 8 chav looking boys who were my age and older walked up the road.
usually you'd get a few idiot trying to pick on anyone round there for being a "GOFF" but they never did anything just shout.

then one of them walked over and punched my friends brother in the side of the head and started laughing and showing off to his mates.
he was stood on the edge of the curb side on to me.it really really pissed me off that he was 18 years old picking on a kid just
because he knew the kid wouldn't fight back. i grabbed the back of his hood, punched him in the face and pushed him off the curb.

he obviously wasn't expecting this (neither was i to be honest just acted on impulse) and fell flat on his arse in the middle of the road.
his friends were hysterical laughing shouting "YOU BIG GAY YOU JUST GOT FLOORED BY A GIRL... LOOK AT HER SHE'S TINY!"

i gave him one last kick in the balls, much to the amusment of his friends, and then walked my friends brother home.
(Thu 14th May 2009, 12:20, More)

» Schadenfreude

Crowd Surfing Fail
Concerts are a great place for things like this. My sister has a very short temper so is not exactly the girl you want to mess with. Whenever you go to a concert there is always the token knobhead. Not content with having a good time like everyone else they have to piss everyone off.

Guy in the white tshirt was one of these people. He would come out of the pit and try to drag girls in, now there is no way you could mistake the girls for being part of the pit because of where they were stood. My guess is he was too weak to handle the guys in their so decided to pick on someone else cause whenever a guy tried to take him on he'd disappear from the pit. He was constantly trying to drag the girls in then pushing them.

He then changed his trick to trying to crowd surf by climbing over my sister and another young lady's back and jumping forward. Now i have nothing against crowd surfing but jumping on two random girls when you're already being a knob isnt going to get you anywhere.

On his third try of crowd surfing my sister waited for him to jump on her back. Sure enough white tshirt guy comes running up jumps on her back... but instead of jumping back down he falls flat on his back clutching his crotch.

She'd punched him in the balls.
I've never been so proud.
(Tue 22nd Dec 2009, 22:11, More)

» Presents

I've gone to a lot of effort for my sister this year
I bought her "Where's Wally? The Wonder Book"

I then used a black marker pen to circle wally on every page.
She's going to love it, she isnt a very patient person so really im doing her a favor.
(Tue 1st Dec 2009, 15:52, More)

» School Projects

RE year 11
we were learning about abortion, the pros and cons and the whole religious views on it.
we were split into groups and told to organise a debate then hold the debate in front of the other class.

so our teacher left us to it
and as a class we decided to do it like an episode of jeremy kyle.

our teacher was a little surprised especially when the debate about abortion span off into a whole
"who's the dad let's take a DNA test" storyline.

we even had one member of the class playing the pregnant girls gobby mum.

(Thu 13th Aug 2009, 19:05, More)
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