» Mobile phone disasters

What?
I just read that 60% of people use their phone to cheat, Surely it would be more effective to use a penis, right?
(Fri 31st Jul 2009, 20:46, More)

» The Dark

The ol' hide in the cupboard trick
The story of how I came to see was tricked into seeing my first naked boy.
Ok, so we were both about 6. Our mothers were friends, so about twice a week, while they were nattering downstairs, I was forced into his room to check out his new cars/ hot wheels track. And whenever we heard someone coming up, we would hide (not sure why).
Well one day, he says he hears someone, and rushes me to the wardrobe, closes the door. We sit in the dark for a minute, before I realise that no-one is coming. Then I turn around and grab his hand to pull him out. Mistake. He takes my hand and shoves it down to...well, you know. That's when I realise he is completly naked. Now this wouldn't seem too strange now, but to six-year-old me, who five minutes ago was playing with toy cars, it was confusing to say the least.
What I did next was to determine my future with naked boys.
I said "Well, that's just not fair" Grabbed his hand and shoved it down my frilly (age appropriate) pants.
When we came out of the wardrobe, it was as if nothing had happened.

It wasn't mentioned again until he tried to repeat the incident 10 years later, he wasn't as lucky that time.
(Wed 29th Jul 2009, 13:05, More)

» Professions I Hate

Claires bitches
I fucking hate Claires Accesories. The piercing is utter stupidity. The only training the bints that do it need is 'heres a button, press it.' Those guns are dangerous! All they do is use sheer force to crush a blunt earring into your flesh, and it hurts! I have a fair few piercings and so have learnt a bit since my early needle and ice days, but it doesn't take a genius to realise something sharp is going to slide through much more smoothly than cramming in a blunted piece of metal. And using hands and a needle is much more precise than a bulky gun than so easily jams, it's honestly heartbreaking to see a child crying with one of those stuck inside their ear.

It sickens me when I walk past a Claires and see a wetherspoons patron lifting her child out of a pushchair to be put through that, whose to say an 16 month-old child wants gold hoops hanging from their head? It just disgusts me to see it.
(Sat 29th May 2010, 15:21, More)

» Sexual fetishes

Geek sex
Greg had a phase a few months ago when all he would do was go on the computer and sleep. He would'nt fuck me for over three weeks (which, considering the norm is twice a day, was hard) I was getting worried. He wasn't even wanking. So when he got up for another cup of tea one time, I stripped naked, sat on the desk and tied myself to the monitor with usb cables. I think it's safe to say that he was cured.
(Thu 22nd Oct 2009, 17:29, More)

» Mobile phone disasters

A little to the left . . .
This happened one of the first times me and Greg stayed at his parents place. His parents had just gone out for the night, I was sitting on the kitchen counter, messing with stuff next to me. Greg was tugging at my skirt before the car had even pulled away. I carried on messing. A keyring, piece of newspaper, Gregs new phone. Brainwave.
"Hey Greg?"
"What?" (coming, muffled, from somewhere in between my boobs)
"Does this thing have a vibrate?" Never seen him move as fast as when he realised what I was getting at. Set the phone to vibrate, slipped it down the front of my undies. A-ma-zing. The thing that happened next could possibly be the worst thing (ever) to hear when you're about to cum via phone-in-the-pants.
"Greg, you seen my phone? I think I left it in there on the side."
Shit
What did we do? Gave him his phone back of course.
(Thu 30th Jul 2009, 19:52, More)