b3ta.com user cheerymaddox
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» Doctors, Nurses, Dentists and Hospitals

I basically bloody love doctors. They're mostly drunken perverts, FYI (what i look for in a person). I've known many and been in a relationship with one so here's a summary of my findings.

Best thing found in an arse - a dead rodent. Couldn't tell what kind of rodent due to the level of decay, however it had a tail before it came off in Docs hand. Obviously the guy had 'no idea' how it got up there. Sure...

What happens while you're under anesthetic - basically there is rarely a time where only one person is in the operating room, so generally you prob won't get touched up. There are exceptions to this rule though...just don't expect to definitely NOT get violated. Personally last operation i had my knickers take themselves off while i was knocked out. Nice.

Med students - pissheads who definitely DO take body parts with them on nights out. I've met people who have, not a 'friend of friend' story. It happened. I'm not 100% if a whole dressed up body was taken out to a pub, that source is a bit shaky, but apparently those students got kicked out of uni...

Med graduates - some Aussie docs used to go out and get horrendously squiffy, get home at stupid-o-clock, insert IV drips into each other and go to sleep before being on duty at 8am. It re-hydrated them while they slept however they did have arms like a skag addicts due to several drunken, botched attempts at getting the line in.

My fave doctor related story - when an old, well respected surgeon was operating and his scrubs (trousers) fell down. Due to his hands being sterile and occupied trying not to blind someone, he was unable to pull them up. The nurses etc were trying desperately to hold it together, the surgeon is desperately trying to convince one of the nurses to pull his scrubs back up, however none of them really want to go near him. You see, that day, he wasn't wearing underpants. Yes, he had to stand there and finish what he was doing with his cock hanging out. Class.

Love doctors.
(Mon 15th Mar 2010, 19:21, More)

» Real-life slapstick

I hope nobody saw...
Me and my friend were exploring the various rooms in a nightclub after getting sufficiently pissed in the others.

We stumble upon a large, interesting looking room after a time and, walking arm in arm, i suggest we see who and what is on the far side of this exciting looking room...however while we are making our way over there, immersed in chat, we accidentally bump into two other people and apologise profusely. Bit embarassing.

No. Actually it was quite a small room. Actually the only thing large in that small room was the floor to ceiling mirror...argh.
(Mon 25th Jan 2010, 15:43, More)

» Sexual fetishes

It's not funny, just unusual.
I like older guys. Fair enough i hear you say? I'm 21 and we're talking minimum age of 30, max probably about 60. Preferably with grey hair. And a beard. I bloody LOVE beards. And body hair - we're talking bear type coverage, back and all. And i prefer a smaller penis given the choice, so no big dicks please and thank you.

I guess the body hair is the main thing, just feels so good and makes me go all unnecessary....ahh...

I know he's gay, but providing Stephen Fry is hairy and doesn't have a massive cock(never really checked, prob something lurking on the net somewhere), i reckon he would be my ideal guy. If he were straight.
(Mon 26th Oct 2009, 14:18, More)

» Rubbish Towns

Makes me go ARGH
Ok fair enough there are probably loads of 'Rubbish towns', but what really makes my blood boil to the point of needing to see a toddler fall over on gravel just to calm down, is when people spend their lives whingeing to whoever will listen about how their town sucks mahoosive dick.

It's usually taxi drivers who are the worst offenders, but most people are guilty of it at some point and i can't say i'm exempt.

Ok, i used to live in Basingstoke and i didn't really care for it much, but you know what? I moved somewhere i liked! If you don't like it just shut up and bugger off for shit sake.
(Thu 29th Oct 2009, 16:44, More)