b3ta.com user Corbo
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» Letters they'll never read

Dear God...
...while I appreciate the extra warmth of the back hair you have blessed me with, please can you return some to my head?


P.S, can I have your autograph please.
(Thu 4th Mar 2010, 15:01, More)

» PE Lessons

He likes short shorts
Mr Massey, for that was his name. And his style of teaching PE in primary school was unique.

Once he had stepped into his shortest shorts, and whitest vest, he would stride into the gym. A short warm up ensued, preparing his 60 year old body for the test before us. We would take our positions, Corbo the younger usually opting for the groin tingling rope aparatus.

With his left hand he would reach for the dial on the wall *click*
With his right he'd pull a cigar from god knows where, *flash*, light it, and for the next 45 minutes sit and smoke it, while we went completely spastic to whatever was on the radio.

This was the format of my PE lesson for 3 wonderful years.
(Fri 20th Nov 2009, 20:45, More)

» Asking people out

Bad start
5 years ago I walked into a pub with my friend beastman to meet mutual friend Muffo.

Muffo had brought a picture of lovliness along with her, blue eyes, blonde hair, bumps in the right places. Wow I thought.

Her first words to me? "you don't remember me do you".

Cringe. "errr should I?" *nervous laugh*. "You kissed me when you were 14 (10 years ago).....and then you went upstairs and kissed my best friend".

What do you say? "yeah, sorry about that, let me get you a drink to make up for it".

5 years later and we're counting down the weeks to our wedding :)
(Mon 14th Dec 2009, 13:52, More)

» IT Support

I once drove from Dorset in England, to Holland, because a server was down.

When I arrived I assessed the situation. Raised a finger to the patient, pressed the button marked "power", and marvelled at my technical prowress as the office came back to life.

Promptly got back in the car and drove home.

2 miles from home I was pulled for speeding :(

Biggest waste of 48 hours in my life.
(Fri 25th Sep 2009, 13:46, More)

» Professions I Hate

Pancake Chefs
(Wed 2nd Jun 2010, 10:05, More)
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