b3ta.com user maddave
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Profile for maddave:
Profile Info:

I am dave

Recent front page messages:

"Oh mum we have to get these they're so cute!! Can we, huh? Can we?!"

edit - Whoah FP in a second! Thank you donkey a la magic.
(Fri 13th Jun 2003, 15:10, More)

He's just helping lonely people out...

(Sun 27th Apr 2003, 18:29, More)

When dedrie was upset

Colin always helped by putting the kettle on.

/forgot to add me name
(Wed 19th Feb 2003, 15:40, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Inappropriate crushes

When I was a young
14 year old we had a young 21 year old PE teacher straight out of uni on teacher training. We were learning how to do hand stands and in groups of two, she came round to see how we were doing. My friend and I both struggled so she said she would do a handstand and I had to grab her legs to show how I could support my colleague. So, down on to her head and hands she went. Up went her legs, I grabbed them. Then suddenly down went her jumper to reveal lovely large 21 year old pert breasts!! She started to struggle but I manged to hold her legs long enough for me and my mate to get a good look!!

We loved her forever more after that!
(Thu 28th Sep 2006, 11:12, More)

» Embarrassing Injuries

No hands.
Got this story off a manager I worked with and belive it to be true.
He said he went into a pub once were he met a girl who had both her arms in plaster and pins going down the shafts of every finger. When he enquired what had happened she explained.
Apparently she worked in a paper factory where they have big guillotine machines. You push the wad of paper in and press the button and the blade comes down and trims the paper. So, young lady had put the paper in, pressed the button and nothing happened. So she reached into the machine, lined up the paper again and "thwamp", blade comes down and chops both her hands off!!! Now you might think thats bad but the best bit is her natural first instinct was to try and pick up her hands which were lying on the machine....
(Mon 6th Sep 2004, 14:53, More)

» When I met the parents

Do I exists?
Well I will be the first serious one.

I was 15. She had just turned 16 that morning due to it being her birthday. We had been going out for four months. I got my mum to drive me round to her house where I proudly walked up the long drive clutching a huge bunch of flowers and a shiny silver ring. Turn the corner to the house to be met by her dad and two brothers of age 28 and 34 respectively. Ask if she is in, but she isn't. Feeling very embarrassed and about to wet myself I say if they can let her know I called. They asked who I was. I said the boyfriend. They asked who I was, I said the boyfriend again. They didn't even know I existed. Damn the women wasn't even proud enough to let them know she was with me. Turn around and walk back down the drive to the shrills of manly laughter.
(Thu 19th May 2005, 13:40, More)

» Crap meals out

Yay! Im the first, EDIT: DAMN YOU ALL!
I once ate off a banana leaf in singapore. The waiter clearing the "plates" managed to pour the remains of a curry all down my back.

Which was nice.
(Thu 27th Apr 2006, 14:30, More)

» Claims to Fame

Oh yesh
And I went to school with Sharon Carr - the 15 yr old who murdered a girl in our local town by stabbing her a coulple of 100 times all over her body. She had before this, stabbed another girl with a comb in the girls toilets as well as locking our femal french teacher in a cupboard for not having sex with her!! All true I tell you. And she used to grab my bollocks when I walked past her in the hall - didn't like that at all!!

Oh and the headmaster of that school was in the Sun for porking one of the pupils mothers on his desk! Dirty bastard!!
(Thu 24th Feb 2005, 15:04, More)
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