b3ta.com user djol
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Recent front page messages:


(Sat 6th Mar 2004, 18:20, More)


(Sat 7th Feb 2004, 1:13, More)

10.0 10.0 10.0 10.0 6.8 10.0 10.0 10.0
Damn French judges!!

(Wed 3rd Sep 2003, 3:44, More)

Dance! Dance! Dance!

(Sat 9th Aug 2003, 4:42, More)

Roger Moore in child labour scandal!!

Reeeed aahhhlllll abaaahhhhhtit!
(Thu 24th Jul 2003, 18:00, More)

Errol was quick... perhaps too quick...

(Fri 30th May 2003, 5:33, More)

on an unrelated note:

the secret of jiva's dancing donkey, revealed
(Mon 28th Apr 2003, 20:36, More)

Doris was late,
and little Brian was bewildered...

(Thu 24th Apr 2003, 8:34, More)

paintmash as insomnia cure

(Sun 6th Apr 2003, 4:53, More)

by eck is like

Clickerus Biggerus

(Thu 27th Feb 2003, 0:12, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Dad Jokes

When watching any news
programs that has bearded politicians spouting complete bollocks, my dad is often heard to say, "Just 'cause he has hair 'round his mouth doesn't give him the right to talk like a cunt!"
(Wed 10th Dec 2003, 12:55, More)

» Best Comebacks

Circa 1989, and I'm in an A-Level maths class
and the teacher, one Mr. Roberts, decides to eschew maths for a moment to ask us a philosophical question.

"I have a machine," he says, "which, when I turn it on, would produce infinite happiness for everyone on the planet forever. Now, how would you convince me not to turn it on?"

Up pops classmate Danny Gianni with the priceless, "Well, I'd probably just break both your arms."

Shortest philosophy class I've ever had.
(Fri 30th Apr 2004, 11:31, More)

» Impromptu Games You Play

having lunch with my best friends parents,
plus some people they'd invited round (note: they're all accountants/financial district kind of people), my friend and I decided to see which one of us could use the word fascinating with the most sarcasm we could muster, without any of the older folks realising that we were not, in fact, in the slightest bit interested in the rise of stamp duty under the current labour government.

my friend won, with (and this is only a textual approximation) faaaaaaaaaaaaaascinating.
(Mon 29th Mar 2004, 16:06, More)

» Worst Record Ever

Mine would have to be
"Penicillin on Wax" by Tim Dog, possibly not the worst album I've ever owned, but certainly the most amusing, for reasons that would mystify you should I divulge them. Ah, even remembering that record brings a cringing smile to my face...
(Thu 4th Dec 2003, 11:54, More)