b3ta.com user NiplyTheElder
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» The Soundtrack of your Life

Anathema - J'ai Fait Une Promesse
A beautiful acoustic, female-vocalled track from an extremely heavy doom metal album.
Always makes me cry, without fail. I have no idea why, and don't really mind that.
Sometimes it's just to feel moved.
(Sat 30th Jan 2010, 15:25, More)

» Sexism

Why can't birds...
Take their tops off properly? You don't grab the bottom, you yank it off by the neckhole, obviously.
Throw properly?
Appreciate a good meaty fart?

Conversely, any female playing a guitar, or fixing a car makes me a little bit warmer inside.

Still, bless 'em eh.
(Mon 28th Dec 2009, 0:55, More)

» Letters they'll never read

Dear Spud...
Thank you for being there with silent compassion and empathy when that bitch walked out on me two days before my little brothers funeral.
Thank you for the wide-eyed look of terror I get when I let a meaty one fly, it always cheers me up.
Thank you for giving me a reason to get up, and go to sleep.
Thanks for sticking with a hairy,lazy and pointless twat like me.

There's a nice pigs ear in the cupboard for later.
(Fri 5th Mar 2010, 15:16, More)

» Celebrities part II

Fubby Chunster
Location: Angel Hotel Abergavenny 1988.
Celebrity: Russel Grant.
Action: Fat sweaty bloke Grant sat in a corner with a dollybird [he'd have preferred Dolly Mixture] on his lap. He was fingering her quite subtly. I spent the rest of the night asking everyone whether that fat fucker was bent or not; no he's with a bird, but he's not straight, he's trying his smarmy smile on her now, now he's off for a piss with a tiny bulge in his cream corduroys.
Very confusing, very disturbing.
Ian Botham was in the same week, but he is a massive bloke, so I kept schtum about his big gut, and thinning hair.

(Thu 8th Oct 2009, 13:57, More)