» Neighbours

I live in a timewarp...
well, it may as well be one. You see, Our neighbours are BLOODY LOVELY.

Mrs Trout plus spawns and I live in a very old street that's probably existed for 600 years at least. We have neighbourhood parties, and an active barter system involving eggs, jam, firewood and PC repairs (that's me). All the kids in the street run in and out of the each other's houses like it's a commune.

The old lady across the street was born in the house she lives in and remembers when our house used to be a school! I luuurve it!

Also, we always get a cheery wave each day from the man who saw Mrs Trout in the nip one morning when walking his dog. The funny thing is, we even wave back!

So don't despair good B3tans, there are lovely neighbours around.
(Tue 6th Oct 2009, 11:10, More)

» The most childish thing you've done as an adult

There's a restaraunt
near where I live that goes by the wonderful name of "Bonaparte's"

Each time I drive by I squint at the sign and ask my wife "What's that place called?" She dutifully replies "Bonaparte's dear". I then spend the next 5 minutes chuckling to myself, a la Beavis & Butthead, saying "She said Boner" huh-huh-huh.

I'm forty three.
(Tue 22nd Sep 2009, 13:22, More)

» Famous people I hate

Diego Maradona

If I ever meet the above gentleman at a public event I shall instantly punch him squarely in the face shouting "THAT'S the hand of god you dirty cheating greasy dwarf bastard"

I shall then be taken to prison where I will be treated as a king by my grateful fellow inmates, like Noel Coward in "The Great Escape"
(Fri 5th Feb 2010, 11:56, More)

» Celebrities part II

About 17 or so years ago...
the future Mrs Trout was a v. attractive teenage waif living on a shoestring in that London.

She was in a swanky nightclub dancing away when she was approached by a tall, imposing looking, but perfectly pleasant black guy who made it clear that he was indeed most interested in (ahem) getting to know her a bit better.

In that way that only young ladies can manage she brushed him off without batting an eyelid and returned to her friends who had watched the whole encounter with open mouths.

"Well, what did he say? - oh my god - did he ask you out?"

"Yeah he did, but I didn't fancy him - and he said his name was Cecil, which I thought was a bit odd"

"No Miss Trout, that was Seal."

"Oh"



His loss, my gain.



Length - doesn't bear thinking about.
(Mon 12th Oct 2009, 13:57, More)

» Irrational Hatred

Child Parking Spaces - GRRRRR!
Having two young wriggling spawns my inevitable weekly trip to the supermarket is not helped by those people who:

1. Park in a CPS accompianed by a child that is biologically old enough to sire a child themselves.

2. Just park with out any children whatsoever.

STOP IT - JUST STOP IT YOU SELFISH SPACKTARDS!!!!!

In fact, just carry on - I'll park halfway across the car park and just struggle on - don't mind me.
(Fri 1st Apr 2011, 13:17, More)