b3ta.com user Daw the Cunt
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» Not having sex

50 shades of Tampax
Saturday night she's on her period but she's obviously kind of horny anyway, so she starts grabbing my dick and making out and we decide we're gonna bang anyway. So I put a towel down to keep from bloodying the bed, put a condom on, and I'm ready to go. I pull off her panties and immediately I notice there's a pad attached to them... a little off-putting but I ignore it and toss it to the side.

I'm right about to stick it in dat when she says "wait, I still have a tampon in." I'm like "wtf, go to the bathroom and take it out!" Then what she says next truly, deeply shocks and disturbs me: "I want YOU to take it out." At this point I'm stunned. How can she possibly think this is something acceptable to ask of a man who's already going out of his way to have sex with you despite your sickening, bloody vag? I first think she's joking, but she makes it clear she's not only turned on by the idea of me removing it, but expects that I should be turned on too. Then the following exchange occurs:

Me: "How could you POSSIBLY think this would be something I'd want to do? Are you insane?"

Her: "But that's what they do in the book!"

Me: "WHAT BOOK???"


Now I realize she's gotten the idea from that pornographic book she's reading. What the Twilight series did for women's romantic expectations, this new series has done for their sexual expectations. She tells me she just put the tampon in like 20 minutes ago so it should be pretty much clean. I swallow my pride and, still wanting to have sex despite it all, I pull the string. The thing is drenched in blood. It's like a horror movie. I go flush it down the toilet and sit back down on the bed, my erection completely gone. I tell her I don't think I can do this now. She begs for a couple of minutes still wanting that heizenberg wang and eventually she manages to arouse me again and we do it.
(Mon 26th May 2014, 22:00, More)

» Unusual talents

I can fart
like a fucking Trombone...
(Fri 19th Nov 2010, 17:56, More)

» Protest!

I Helped to Smash
up Trafalgar Square back in March 1990 when a few people got a little vexed with Mrs Thatcher(CUNT)'s Poll Tax. Almost got my Arm busted by a Pig on a Horse :(
(Fri 12th Nov 2010, 18:20, More)

» Easiest Job Ever

Stuffing Geese
with grain so there Liver enlarges so Foie Gras Pate can be made...Not a very pleasant job
(Fri 10th Sep 2010, 17:50, More)

» Narrow Escapes

I Nearly got Raped
by a load of Aliens once :(
(Fri 20th Aug 2010, 19:34, More)
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