b3ta.com user 1
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Hi, I'm 1. (previously known as: One, Dave the Penguin, and someone. EVOLUTION!) I am the lowest positive integer, and I should totally be counted as a prime number, but those damn MATHE-MA-TICIANS think I should not be. It's all a misunderstanding I tell you. But try telling that to 2. He's just jealous because he isn't as famous as zero and I am. Me and zero- we go back a long way.
In real life, I'm one of those goddamn younguns who has too much free time and spends their time on internet messageboards. Also I'm apparently June Sarpong in disguise.
I have this website named Beats Television but I don't update it much, also I have this which is. Oh, and Madness Temple which is this messageboard I made with a bunch of other people where all the angsty teenagers from b3ta go and shout at each other and ask for links to pornography.oh also I got into the newsletter once and another time and I was credited for something in Issue 144 but I can't actually remember what.
CLIENT TESTIMONIALS; "like conversing with the Babelfish translator on crack"-Greypelt "everything they have ever posted has amused or enlightened me in some way."-the entire population of woking "He makes me moist in special places"-1 "shut up June"-Mr. Fish "OH GOD WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THAT FISH... NOT THERE OH GOD ANYWHERE BYT THERE"-rob
here is some stuff I did when I was young and foolish and I haven't looked at any of this stuff so it's probably all shit. but I leave it up because one of them probably contains the meaning of life. Post Circle of No Return-Yay, Post Number 1485700!- We Like Posts, Posts are good- 1...2...3...4...- Post 1.75 million- Copying Fnord- Copying Fnord AND Mystery Bob- lalalalalalala.- Talking to yourself is a sign of madness. No it's not. Yes it is.- Getting obsessive about the two millionth post -I have two b3ta accounts for some reason-I like linking to things-space-i looove chevrons
okay I will stop tourmenting you now. you can add me on micromasoft messenger of the justice at nohomers _ someone atttt hotmail dot com and we can discuss the matters of the day over tea and biscuits. Also I'll assassinate you eventually. But don't let us worry about that. Just keep sipping the tea... keep sipping the tea and all will be fine. I leave you with some final words of wisdom: "Don't be a bastard, please"

Recent front page messages:

Off to hell I go

not only for the bad joke but also for chopping these poor guys' arms off.
Also flash gif optimization of text sucks
edit: ooh, yay, front page etc

(Tue 25th Nov 2003, 21:07, More)

This took me a while...
wait a while and all will be revealed.
Sorry about the bad quality text, but hopefully it's just readable.

EDIT: Oh look, my first frontpage. Isn't that lovely.
(Sat 31st May 2003, 17:24, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Worst Record Ever

Um... if you mean worst record I've bought
... do you?

edit: meh, whatever, i'll do it anyway

I was eight, it was one of those cheesy novelty bands, don't remember their name.
Reason? I was 10, ish

and yes this probably is just a cheap excuse to get the first answer EVER

woo me i'm making some sort of insignificant milestone

(Tue 2nd Dec 2003, 17:30, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

did you hear about the joke
that was diagnosed with cancer...
(Thu 9th Sep 2004, 19:19, More)

» Best Comebacks

more like YOUR MOM-backs
(Thu 29th Apr 2004, 18:31, More)