b3ta.com user Gaz
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» Losing Your Virginity

Picture the scene
We had been going out for about 4 months and it was going to be are first time with anyone, so like a gent i had paid for a hotel room for a night.

We spent the whole day as normal and then had a few beers to get more comfey, Flick on the TV for background music and just after i pop her cheery the news brings on a nice news flash that the queen mother is dead.

(Thu 3rd Mar 2005, 20:08, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

Whats 3 feet high and sits at the end
of kids beds?

Gary Glitters boots.
(Thu 9th Sep 2004, 19:19, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

Whats silver, sits at the end of your bed and takes the
piss out of you?

A kidney dialysis machine.
(Thu 9th Sep 2004, 19:18, More)

» It was a great holiday, but...

Cyprus last year
Me and my dad decided to go parasailing as neither of us had done it before.

After paying the guy to do it we get on board the ship with 4 other people up for it. Turns out one of them was deaf and a bit slow which isent that funny but the fact she is speaking that way only deaf people can and in german it sounded hilarious.

To make matters even funnier (for us) after she was strapped in to go she started flapping a bit to her mates in her native deaf tongue. The guy running the trip dident care and pressed the button to send her up and out, we could hear her mongy cries getting quieter and quierter as she gets further away. 5 minutes later and they get louder again as she is being wenched back in. Guess you had to be there.

Size? you love it?
Hell? Bring it on
(Thu 21st Apr 2005, 19:49, More)

» In the Army Now - The joy of the Armed Forces

Only did 9 weeks of basic before deciding its not for me
One of the funniest things i remember about it was on our first ever exercise.

It was only a one night thing just outside the camp to get us used to doing stag.

Out of the 3 section CPLS were 2 were para trained and ours was commando (I was joining the sappers)

They all banged on about how were were crap hats and our CPL was in his words "A switched on commando warrior diving legend"

Anyhow CPL Clarks showing us how to make a perimeter for the area with para cord and after he tied some round a tree he steps back and trips over a log and goes arse over tit.

Being all made to crawl around the perimeter on our belt buckle was worth pissing ourselves for.
(Fri 24th Mar 2006, 13:14, More)
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