» Schadenfreude

Bikers in Spain
Me and a mate were tearing up the tarmac in Spain and we came upon a couple of police bikers, they did a dangerous dodgy over take on the big fat BMW bikes which can catch most bikes, they overtook where there was a universal no overtaking sign.

We hung back and waited for a clear sport and hit the gas over taking a big truck of some kind, but just as it went into a no overtaking zone.

We rode around a big round about curious as to if they would stop us as they seemed to be tailing us for a couple of laps, then the blue flashing lights went on.

So we were taken to one side ticketed and lectured and fined €69 each.

At which one of the police officers says in his spanish accented English

"Only good riders like me and partner can ride like this," ,
" you and you very bad!,"
"do not do this again,"

At which we waited for them to leave, the cop at the front jumped on his bike, and kicked up his side stand, the cop at the back did the same but some how he dropped the bike...

The cop at the front saw this in the mirror or heard the crunch turned his head round backwards to watch with horror his partner making a tit of himself.

But he broke the golden rule of driving , eyes forward, and kept accelerating while focused on behind,

He put HIS bike into the side of a passing car and fell off unhurt.

We ran over and tried to help him, but he absolutely refused out help and refused to take off his helmet, we then ran over to the cop at the back and helped him lift his bike up...

We could feel the red glow through the dark tinted visors.
(Sat 19th Dec 2009, 14:23, More)

» Churches, temples and holy places

2009 South Korea
I had just completed an epic motorbike journey across Russia, central Asia and Mongolia. And I had gotten off the ferry from Vladivostok to Sokcho.

I made it to Seoul 5 days later.

While there I simply binged out to put the weight back on for 5 weeks. I then met a german bloke called Simon. It was a sunday... we were bored.... Somebody said lets go to Church...

We were still buzzing drunk from the night before where we'd been drinking till 8am.

So we went to Church Korean, the English Congregation filled with ESL types. There was even a famous Korean pop star who went there. Korean style is funny as in odd Simon and I were total frauds, we did not bring bibles and went to watch the Karaoke esq hymms sung. Really really toasted still and stinking of Soju and beer. The pastor looked very angry at us as Simon proceeded ask stupid question and 'test the faith' of the pastor with logical if god is so.... type questions.

The pastor got very very angry... we could see his lip quivering at the anger. We watched a few blessings and Simon handed me a beer. Even I was a what the hell! at this....

We sat through the service and ironically even though we were both atheist frauds we were the only people to put money on the donation plate. More blessings which felt creepy.... I thought if they touched me I would burst into flames.

We drifted out and went back to the hostel. Simon left for a week and came back Saturday night....... joined by a Spanish guy called Jesus who ironically looked a lot like the classical blue eyed long hair Jesus..... we drank a LOT again and Simon suddenly was very very sober and said I have to apologise to the pastor....

Simon, Jesus and I went to the church again.... and acted all nice and apologetic even crying..... this was totally out of charactor for him. He sat through the service completely silent and at the end when people were gathering, he introduced Jesus to everybody.......

This is my friend Jesus H Christ.... (Jesus spoke neither English or Korean) open eyed shock everywhere. Which felt like it was on the verge of a punch up..... Simon saved the day by saying I mean Christie... Polite Korean society did not allow them to beat us to death. and they accepted this through clenched teeth.... A German guy didn't buy it and wasn't a polite Korean ignore it type and confronted Simon in the lobby. He simply nutted Simon and knocked him out cold..

I left Korea for China later that day....
(Fri 2nd Sep 2011, 23:21, More)