» Amazing displays of ignorance

Blind stupidity
I was sat in the cinema with my friend Emma, watching the million adverts before the actual film when an advert came on for what the cinema is doing for blind/deaf people...

Me: "Why would you bother going to the cinema if you were blind?"
Emma: "Yeah its stupid, you'd just read the book instead"

...I'll never let her forget that one!
(Fri 19th Mar 2010, 12:06, More)

» Real-life slapstick

Stairs and Mattresses
For some reason no matter how many toys me and my brothers had when we were younger we always ended up playing games on the stairs, like 'who can jump down the most stairs', 'who can slide down the stairs in the most dangerous way' or 'who can get down the stairs with only the use of the handrail.'
Anyway, I was 12 my other brother Nick was 10 and my youngest brother, Josh, was 5 and despite the age gap used to try and join in mine and Nick's big kid games as best he could, and bless our evil socks, we used this to our advantage all the time! Which probably explains why Josh is a bit of a nutter now! So this one time we were moving house and we were 'helping' take stuff out of our bedrooms to the moving van. Now myself and Nick came up with the ultimate version of the jumping down the stairs game, why not put one of our mattresses half way down and jump from the top, bounce, then land at the bottom. This kept us entertained for, oh, at least ten minutes and then the novelty wore off and we were told by our Mum to stop pratting about before one of us got hurt, so as I was at the bottom of the stairs, I pulled the mattress down to my level...just as Josh shouted "to infinity, and beyond" and leapt from the top...I honestly thought I'd killed him...To this day my mum still holds me responsible for having to take Josh to A&E in the middle of moving because they thought he had broke his back and Nick because he was having an asthma attack from laughing so much!
(Tue 26th Jan 2010, 17:48, More)