b3ta.com user GingerIrishTosser
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» Guilty Laughs

The gents
The toilets in work are either side of the lift, so when you enter there is about 10 feet of narrowness before it opens out into the main area.

I walked in the other day and was about half way down the narrow bit when i walked into a solid wall of stench straight from the arse of beelzebub himself.

'Fucking hell' was my immediate response and on turning to leave I heard 'tee hee hee' come from one of the traps.
(Tue 27th Jul 2010, 10:07, More)

» Vandalism

Positive vandalism?
Our village has the A1 running alongside it with a speed camera mounted in the central reservation, for it is a 50 mph zone. The camera turns round, so sometimes it watches for naughty motorists on the north bound lanes, sometimes on the south bound.

Some years ago, someone drew another lens on the back of the camera, with the result that only the very observant could tell if the camera or the fake lens was watching them hurtle past.

This was lauded in the local papers and in the pubs: This unknown genius had a positive effect on traffic as everyone slowed down.

Then the local council fuckwits learned of this and cleaned the camera.
(Fri 8th Oct 2010, 11:59, More)

» Worst Band Ever

Chris de Fucking Burgh
Do I need to say anymore?
(Thu 30th Dec 2010, 14:43, More)

» Letters they'll never read

Dear Cyclists
As a pedestrian, it's hard enough finding footpaths that aren't covered in dog shit, have broken paving slabs or some inconsiderate bastard's car parked on it without having someone bearing down on you on a mountain bike. The road's the place for you, not the footpath.

And to the cunt who nearly wiped me out the other night while walking the dog - Thanks. At least your lights were working, you had a cycle helmet on and a hi-vis jacket, so what the buggery fuck were you doing on the footpath at 9pm in a quiet village?

Don't get me started on the ones who sail through red lights and then have the temerity to ring their bells at pedestrians daring to cross while the green man is on. Aaaaarrrghhhh.
(Fri 5th Mar 2010, 19:43, More)

» Yum!

No up to kaptinkurtz's standard
But I made this for my daughter's birthday:

(Just the cake, not the plastic zebra)
(Fri 28th Jun 2013, 16:10, More)
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