» Asking people out

Rebound My Arse.
Summer 2008, and I'm working in Margate's premier (read: only) gay bar, dating a seemingly delightful young man, who we shall call J.
J starts going a little bit off the proverbial rails; bizarre disappearing acts, violent outbursts, peculiarly timid threats of suicide (yes, we've all been there).
Through the duration of our relationship, a charming girl of 21 (assigned the name G) was being less than subtle about her intentions for me, and her disgust at my relationship. She made me laugh, I found myself growing very attracted to her, and we hit it off very well.
All of a sudden, totally out of the blue, I get dumped on the way home from work.
Text message.
No explanation.
Zilch.
Nothing.
Nada.
So there I was, upset, if not utterly heartbroken, and I find myself talking to this young girl, saying how I felt and such, when I find myself staying at her gaffe for the evening.
It was wrong of me.
It was stupid and incompassionate, but yes, by sheer perseverance and breaking down the brick walls of 'we really really shouldn't', we ended up having extremely hot, animalistic sex.
Score 1.
And yet, which amazed me as my 20 year-old brain was/is still not developed in tact or subtlety, I didn't feel that this was the end - the inevitable post-ejaculatory response of lost interest/'I really fancy a pizza' didn't arrive on cue, so I sensed something more.
Had I secretly fallen for this girl whilst in the (albeit stunted) throes of another relationship?
Two days later, an awkward 'should we?' was mumbled, and so it was.
And here in December 2009, Mrs. FX and I are still happy, very much in love, and she can still put up with all of the things which make me a bit rubbish.
I personally think it speaks volumes for my awesomeness that I have just proved that awkward, mind-addled fumbles with someone you barely know can result in success.
So just remember that, kids.
Don't turn it down.
(Fri 11th Dec 2009, 3:36, More)

» Best and worst TV ads

Cadbury's Wispa Gold
I love Windsor Davies.
It is blindingly apparent why here;
www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFlRmrVvk24
(Thu 15th Apr 2010, 18:02, More)

» Drugs

I pretty much used to survive on Pro Plus...
At college, time management wasn't exactly my niche, so I used to make up for it with many sleepless nights and trips to the 24-hour garage for said wonder-drug.
I had an induction assessment at college one day, and the night before I was on something of a razz at a mate's house round the corner.
After a not inconsiderable amount of JD, my mind elected to inform me that the only way that this was going to work would be by finding a certain white and red box and getting my pill on.
'Moderation' was not in my vocabulary at this point, and I proceeded to take 36 - a frankly industrial quantity.
There used to be an advert on for a women's weekly magazine with the tagline; 'No Lassie, I can't come and save the town, I'm Taking a Break!' which proceeded to turn into the most hilarious thing I could ever imagine - I was flicking through television channels specifically to find this advert.
I then thought it would be a grand idea to try and touch the ceiling of the room I was sleeping in by jumping.
I'm 5ft3, this room was at least 13ft.
That aside, I wanted to try, and try I did.
Unfortunately I was sleeping on the laminated floor in a duvet - I took off from said duvet and it slipped under my foot, causing me to jump more forwards than upwards, fell straight on my face, then got up and tried again.
Much to the bemusement of my mildly tipsy mate. We haven't quite spoken the same since.
Quite how I'm not dead is beyond me, and I got a distinction for my performance at college the next day.
Odd times.
(Fri 17th Sep 2010, 12:41, More)