» How clean is your house?

I shared a flat with a woman who had the most fantastic set of breasts.
And she knew it. But she was a pig.

She never washed up (no, she never washed up), never took the bin bags out, had fantastic breasts, never cleaned the bathroom, was content to live in student squalor, showed me her breasts, never cleaned the kitchen, put out on the first night we went out together.

She screwed me over in the end, but the joke's on her - I only made a half-assed effort cleaning the flat each and every week.
(Mon 29th Mar 2010, 1:39, More)

» Devastating Put-Downs

some fucker sent a Rocket Ajax to recover my dead body
so I hijacked it
and crashed the cunt into their master's palace on the wedding day.
(Sat 26th Nov 2011, 18:32, More)

» Prejudice

Bird-lovers.
When I hear the word "vulture", I reach for my gun.
(Sat 3rd Apr 2010, 2:56, More)

» Amazing displays of ignorance

Learn from your mistakes.
I've seen Carlito's Way twice and and both times he ended up dying. Carlito's way = the wrong way.
(Wed 24th Mar 2010, 0:59, More)

» Weird Rituals

I cannot look at Daniella Westbrook
without wondering what it would be like to fuck someone up the nose.
(Tue 20th Dec 2011, 23:29, More)