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Escort XR3i, Boxing Day.
First post, go easy!

A number of years back I was an impressionable 19 year old, with a similarly aged Escort XR3i Cabriolet. It was Grey, all the gear from the RS Turbo model, a real looker. It cost me £1900, and the same to insure Third Party Fire & Theft. In reality, it was a dog, I used to leave it unlocked at night (and all day at work) in the vain hope that someone would steal it. No-one did.

So, one Boxing Day, I call up my Mate Joe. "Fancy going up to (the closed) Sainsbury's car park and doing some handbrake turns? Coppers won't be working on Boxing Day so we shouldn't have no trouble"
Yeah, comes the reply and ten minutes later we're hurtling through the town at somewhere between 80 and 90 MPH.
So far, so good, as we pull in to Sainsbury's car park- I've slowed down by this point and am about to round the corner by the petrol station when *screeeeeeeechhhhhhh* I lock the front wheels on some diesel and bump up the kerb and smash through their fence.
No worries, think I. It's Boxing Day, no-one will know, we'll just go home and pretend it never happened. I'm just about to put the car in reverse, when *whooo-whoooo-screeeechhhh* a Police Car comes flying into the car park and blocks me in. I get out.
Cop: HOW FUCKING FAST WERE YOU GOING BACK THERE?
Me: Not very, about 30
Cop: I really had to put my foot down to keep up with you
Me (spying plods measly Focus with no Camera/Speed recording gear): Nope, didn't go above 30, I'm sure.
Cop: Whose car is this?
Me: Mine
Cop: What is it?
Me: An Escort
Cop: Whose is it?
Me: Mine
Cop: And What is it?
Me: An Escort
Cop: What type?
Me: XR3i
Cop: Whose is it?
Me: Mine- I just said
Cop: How can you afford it?
Me: I have a job
Cop: Is it yours?
Me (growing tired by now): Yes (the previous questions are repeated a few more times, before he eventually gets the message that yes, it's mine, and it is an Escort.)
Cop: I'm just thinking what I can do you for...
Me: Okay
Cop: I reckon speeding and dangerous driving
Me: I wasn't speeding. I hit some diesel and skidded, it was an accident
Cop: Well I won't do you for dangerous driving, but you'll be up for speeding
Me: Except I wasn't, and even if I was you can't prove it.
Cop: We'll see about that- in the mean time you're going to have to pay to get this fence fixed
Me: I'll fix it myself- half my family are carpenters, I should be able to manage (not strictly a lie- it's my mothers maiden name)
Cop: Okay, but i'll be giving your details to the manager of Sainsburys. Be on your way.

I went up a few days later and smashed a few nails into the fence. It fell down a few days later.

You might think I fought the law, but I won. I kind of did, but a few days later came an £800 garage bill, so I guess karma had the last laugh.

The bit that pissed me off the most though? I never got to do any handbrake turns.
(Wed 28th Apr 2010, 1:57, More)