b3ta.com user Cosa Nostril
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» Vandalism

Ya bas
Under a road sign in Glasgow when I was on on overnight bus from London was -

Get In Line (ya bas)
Ya bas -was spray-painted on, but it conveyed nicely the Glaswegian sense of humour, as in, don't fuckin mess.

I have to say, I was one of the few who laughed their arse off at that. It was well worth being awake for that alone, for I knew I'd come home. Scots rule. And yes, yes you can abuse me for this, but it's something I'm proud of. I can appreciate different types of houmor, but the self-deprecating kind always hits home
(Tue 12th Oct 2010, 5:05, More)

» Vandalism

There was a graftitto of the side on the gable wall of a house -

"Tonight Matthew, I'm going to be Jim Bowen".
I have to say, this made me laugh like a drain every time I went past.
The pure surrealism of that cracked me up every time.

On a wall that was continuouly painted over due to senseless grafitti was -

"Wall...Huh... What is it good for?"

That also gave me a chuckle.
(Tue 12th Oct 2010, 3:57, More)

» Bedroom Disasters

Wavy lines~~~
~~~ along time ago, in a universe suspiciously reminiscent of the shit-hole we currently inhabit, was a person called Cosa Nostril. Cosa was in their first year of uni & fucking loving it - booze before 5pm, blunts before 7pn & the most amazingly shit food you have ever encountered. Bliss.

One night, Cosa & flat mates decided to visit another nearby institution of Further Education for a night out. Well, that was an utter disaster. However, Cosa pulled, but on getting back to the digs, the pullee was decidedly reticent. In fact, the bar steward had me sleep on my own floor, whilst they (the complete & utter gay) slept in MY FUCKING BED.

That the pullee was gay did not hit me till I was sober, but my unabiding question is this; if the pullee knew their sexuality, what in the good fuck were they doing coming home with me???

And more to the point, what in the fuck were my flat mates thinking letting me take this obviously confused person home?

Sometimes, there really are no adequate answers.
(Sat 25th Jun 2011, 2:35, More)

» Grandparents

Granda was the spitting image of MacMillan to my eyes. A 'tache & drooping eye.

A long-time farmer, he had his right ulna shot thru in WW1, and it always gave me great pleasure as a bairn to squeeze his arm where the bone used to be. Me being on the sick side, even as a kid.

For his grandkids he came across as a relatively benign old soul, but I recently discovered that my granda "had a bike", & there's another almost completely unknown side of the family. All I could do when I found this out was laugh, & think 'the randy old goat'. I only thought this because i was old enough to appreciate the
vagaries in long-term relationships.

However, it must have hurt his family a lot, especially my granny (who I loved greatly). When she died, I took to my bed for a weekend (I was one of her fave grandkids). To my innocent eyes, my granny & granda were the epitome of a couple, in that they raised a family under fairly poor circumstances, and lived to tell the tale.

I have the utmost respect for them in that they stayed together through the good & bad times, as they promised to do at their wedding. How many can say the same thing nowadays?

On the other side of things, he had at least two strokes whilst driving, landing the car in the ditch both times. I should be grateful that I'm even here, as a at least one of the accidents involved both my parents. Granda rocks!

Granny & Granda - RIP.
(Fri 3rd Jun 2011, 4:26, More)