» Sticking it to The Man

Sticking it to A Man
So, I'm a TEFL teacher, and I have just finished a 6-month stint in Poland, happily destroying what was left of my mind with the jet fuel they call vodka over here. And so the time to leave came about, and I'm in the process of closing down the utility bills. All good so far.

But.
My landlord has repeatedly said that I will pay him, instead of going to the utility company direct. Odd, thinks I, but agrees to it in principal, so long as a valid and legal water bill is presented to me at the end of the contract. I even present this in writing, as to make it all legit and everything. Bearing in mind my Landord 1. Owns his own decent sized logistics company 2. drives 2 quite new Audis 3. Is generally disliked by his staff for being a bit of a tightarse 4. I have it in writing that a bill will be presented to me.

Now, my bills come to approx. 120 PLN a month, so for 6 months that's about 700 PLN x 2 = 1400 for 6 months of gas and electric. So he rocks up at my flat, is happy with the state of it, and gives me back my damage deposit. Excellent, thinks I, duty free here I come! But wait, he then tells me I owe him 3800 for the water. You what now? I was slightly taken aback, and asked again. 3800. Apparently I like leaving the tap on to stare at the pretty waterfall that comes out for hours on end. Also, he presents no bill, despite previously agreeing to it, and demands the money from me. Long story short, I remind of the written agreement about the bill, and promise to give him my friends address so he can bill me. This is also after I remind him of when the water was cut off several times for no reason, and was told to basically lump it by him.

Not thinking to take a photo of it at the time, here's a text version of what I wrote:
Nazwisko - Peel
Imie - Robert
Nr. Domu - Flat 9
Adres - 99 Letsby Avenue
Miejscowosc - Copson Obbers
Wojewodztwo - Oldham
Kod - 0LD 81LL
(I'm not from Oldham, it just works with the postcode)

So yeah, I stuck to a man who I feel was trying to rob me blind for his own good. Take that Man!

Also, *POP*
(Tue 22nd Jun 2010, 12:54, More)

» Vandalism

How an entire year group got expelled
well, more like asked to leave, but still, it sounds cooler this way.

Long ago were the days when I was but a young mouse in the fields of my school. And such times were about to draw to an end at school, as all the upper sixth (18 years old for those that don't know) came into school for their last ever Monday before breaking up and leaving on exam study leave. Naturally, we could not let such an event past without leaving out mark upon the school that had given us so much fu..., enjoy..., well, so much over the years.

So it came to pass that on this final Monday, the entire school came in to find that we had indeed left our mark on the school. Quite a lot of marks actually. It started simple, with the usual tricks. Wallpapering up the entrance to the school; breaking onto the roof and replacing the school flag with a Jolly Roger, leaving fish in hard to reach places, the usual. However, this was only the start.

One group had decided to spray paint, in bright green, in big letters their feelings of certain teachers onto the ramp leading down to the staff car park. Imagine the delight on said teachers face when he comes down to see that "[said teacher] fucks pigs" among many glittering delights.

Bury surely the piece d'resistance of this motley crew was this: taking that our school had a rather large cricket field in the middle of the grounds, these scamps did 2 things; first to drive a car all over it, cutting the turf up no end. A mild annoyance you might think, but considering the pride the school put into the field, the emotional damage was quite high.

Second: they applied weedkiller all over the cricket field. And when I say all over, I they took their time to draw out a massive cock and balls (with mandatory three drops) onto this cricket field, and then made a not unflattering comparison between the cricketing phallus and the deputy head. This was genius as far as a lot of people, including myself, were concerned, as not only did the weedkiller kill the grass, leaving the imprint in the ground, but the school painted over it in green, trying to camouflage it. Instead, this only extenuated the problem as the different colours made it easier to see.

So when the entire year group is called in at 11am that morning, and told in no uncertain terms to clear out their lockers and get out, many left with a sense of pride, as we all felt we had achieved something that day. And then we went to the pub.

Length? About 4 years to fully get rid of it
(Tue 12th Oct 2010, 22:26, More)

» Vandalism

Yet more graffiti
I'll just leave this here...

bigeyedeer.wordpress.com/2008/07/15/this-cartoon-wrote-a-sweary-word-on-your-toilet-wall/
(Tue 12th Oct 2010, 22:07, More)