» Restaurants, Kitchens and Bars... Oh my!

I've never spat
in a customer's burger, because I've never had to work in McDonald's.

Just because you have a shit job, no need to take it out on someone else.

Now get me a coke, monkey.
(Mon 24th Jul 2006, 10:30, More)

» Running away

There was also
the time I was being chased by a Psycho Killer.

I ran ran ran ran ran ran ran away.


I'll get my coat.
(Mon 14th Aug 2006, 18:53, More)

» Running away

We had a maths
teacher who used to keep the whole class in for at least the first 20 minutes of lunchtime every lesson.

Me and my friend never did anything in classtime anyway, so she was fucked if she thought we'd do anything at lunchtime.

Anywho, every lesson we found new and creative ways to escape from lessons.

I have a few favourite methods, one of which was convincing someone to walk out, then when she was chasing said decoy, run the other way out.
There was also the time we just decided to leg it out of the room quietly. This quietness was foiled by me knocking a bin off a desk on the way out, and pulling a spectacular cricket stylee dive to catch it to stop it making a noise.

There was also a cupboard which blocked a gap to a mong classroom, so we used to get in the cupboard and take the back board off, and escape through the class of mongs.
(Mon 14th Aug 2006, 18:49, More)

» Shit Stories

Another one
(Am I a shitty person?)
Got constipated for a week, then when it finally arrived, it hurt so much my vision blurred and flipped when I was doing it.
(Wed 5th May 2004, 22:38, More)

» Mini Cabs From Hell

Ooh Ooh! I have another one!
A taxi pulled up outside the local shop, and started blasting out "It's raining men!". Of course, being the little shit I am, I went to his cab and started disco dancing next to him - he sped off, very very fast, then tried to scare me by turning onto the pavement.
(Wed 26th May 2004, 22:01, More)