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» Bullshit and Bullshitters

Bullshit Merchant.
My first post ever on B3ta, having been an avid reader for about 10 years i thought it was about time I contributed!

Anyway.... the art of bullshit was actually a skill i learnt off my twin brother, that and lying. my first experience of him doing this being when we were both tots but talking (what ever age that was?) and my brother protesting to my mother that had not in fact eaten all he chocolate cake that just happened to be smeared in comedic fashion around his mouth. it was watching a master class of sorts the sincerity in his little face in spate of the obvious facts. He has from this early beginning gone from strength to strength in this department, the art of bullshit I mean not eating chocolate cake of which he now does not partake. He is also no fatty.

Anyway all the deceptions, lies, deceitfulness, and embellishment were learnt from my good ol bro. When I was at Uni and on my gap year in London going to fancy clubs I learnt from my very well versed brother all of the above in exemplary style flair . He in many ways made me the man that I am today, always ready with a story that is based on some tenuous facts but usually outrageously overstated.

For instance during my gap year in London I spent a great deal of time lying to women in clubs (as any normal hot blooded male does!) and at the tender age of 18 there was no job or experience I had not done or experienced! very impressive at a young age and all obviously bullshit, however when you get the end of a particularly complicated speech on how you have actually been to every county in the world and are in fact ‘astronaut millionaire mike Dexter’ you know something is wrong... especially when you start to think that things you say actually happened. I also used to use a fake name often just for shits and giggles... don’t know why
... this BS often lead to nookie and more often than not my lies going out of control and my whole fantasized world crashing down around me.. deservedly. I sill make shit up but less so now… perhaps its all out of the system older and wiser no doubt!

a bit long and boring but god did not create the world in a day and this is my fist attempt... and I’m not going to listen to any of you saying it should be my last!!!
(Fri 14th Jan 2011, 14:43, More)