» Awesome teachers

My A Level Chemistry teacher
His appearance was that of the archetypal mad scientist: dishevelled white hair, twisted teeth, and a chemical-stained and burnt lab coat that lent him a faint perfume of burning. This is the man that, in our last lesson, allowed us to make rudimentary "rockets" and fire them out of the windows (with little success, although his own effort narrowly missed a passing skiver). He commanded the room, and everyone hung on his every word, probably because we were now allowed to do Real Science (read: wear a lab coat) and were made privy to the stories of the sciencey hijinks of a chemistry graduate. Here is my favourite.

Granted I can find no proof, but believe it to be true. It would have been 20-25 years ago at least. I was only told the barest of details, perhaps to prevent replication of the incident, so this is embellished somewhat...
Our Hero, upon receiving a less-than-wonderful grade in a particular module, half-inched a sizeable quantity of Caesium from one of the Cardiff University labs for his own nefarious purposes.

A note for those unacquainted with alkali metals: you may recall from your science lessons that Potassium, a highly reactive metal, is stored in oil to stop it immediately oxidising. In water, potassium is seen to perform the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy across the surface, dressed in a rather lovely lilac flame. Now imagine potassium has a premenstrual older sister. She is over reactive and unreasonable, and if disturbed from oily slumber is likely to spontaneously combust. Her behaviour in water is less aqua-aerobics, more suicide bomber. Let's call her "Caesium".

It was decided that if the budding prankster could contain his enthusiasm until after graduation, should he be caught during his caesium based antics his degree would remain intact as he would no longer be a student of Cardiff Uni. Therefore, the Caesium lay in wait until graduation day - the details become hazy here.

I'm not exactly sure of the mechanics involved in safely transporting a kilogram (!) of said Caesium from its oil-filled prison to Roath Park Lake, but the journey was made. Our hero legs it. It seems he is lost in the fray of others also fleeing the carnage, as he gets away scot-free. He explained, midst reminiscent giggles of pride and guilt, that his actions seemed to unlock a portal to the underworld, as (I am reliably informed, and inclined to believe) all hell broke loose. No-one was harmed, and apparently investigation into the disturbance was not exhaustive as he heard nothing more of it, although a friend's repeat performance was prevented the following year by more sophisticated lab security.

Everyone in our class went on to study a science at university.
Apologies for length but be gentle with me, long time lurker, first post!
(Mon 21st Mar 2011, 18:32, More)