b3ta.com user liquidspanner
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» Random Acts of Evil

I also had an older brother who would constantly fight with me and would constantly win. Being the evil genius i was i decided to level the playing field and negate his size/age/strength. I rounded up all the darts in the house and elsewhere and threw them all into the ceiling. I called on him and when he walked into the room i threw the heaviest workboot i could find at the ceiling. Raining darts down on his bastarding head. Hillariy/agony/punctured scalps/slippering from mother ensued.
(Tue 21st Feb 2012, 12:19, More)

» Weird Rituals

After doing the laundry i have to fold socks in pairs and scrunch them up so that from the side it looks like za smiley face. When placed on top of one another in the wardrobe it looks like its full of happy faces.
(Fri 16th Dec 2011, 12:31, More)

» Random Acts of Evil

dog days
IlWhen i was a yung un my family had a pet labrador, big friendly fella he was, about 8 stone of lumbering black slobberyness. He was however terrified of the hoover and would bolt out the room when it was witched on. I also had a younger brother who was about ten years old a daft enough to sdo what his older brother told him. Putting the two together i got him to satnd in the doorway and turner on the hoover. Dog bolted like an exocet missile out room, small brother takes the full force of racing beast. Sommersault and broken arm
(Tue 21st Feb 2012, 12:12, More)

» B3TA fixes the world

forearm tattoos
Footballers who set examples to fuckwitted ingrates who have forearm tattoos should be sent to concentration camps where the practice was refined. The knuckledragging sheep will follow them and for a drop of cyclon B and 'hey-presto' society improves. (to be clear, im not a fasist, they will have an open door, equal opportunity death camp. Possibly with a hi-de-hi feel)
(Wed 28th Sep 2011, 12:46, More)

» I should have been arrested

Bus stopped
One time my mate was staying for a few days with another fella who wouldnt come out for a friday night with us ruffians. On return four sheets to the wind someone had the genius idea to nick, dismantle and move a bus stop and rebuild it in his spare room. I dont think grand theft on this scale is a legal grey area.
(Thu 26th Jan 2012, 14:22, More)
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