b3ta.com user beanolabub
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» Ignorance

They don't do it like that where I'm from.
Had a friend visiting Blighty from the states. Wanting to show her the very best of sights as she was quite a fine looking specimen, I duly treated her to a tour of Leicester's back streets. She was intrigued when she encountered her very first pelican crossing.
She heard the beeps.
"What is that for?"
"Oh that's for blind people. To say when it's crossing time." I explained.
"Blind people?" She replied. "Really? Wow."
"Cor easy to impress, I'm in here", I thought. She was quiet, deep in thought, soaking up the finest scenery of the Kebab Shops, Laundrettes, off-licences and betting shops of the Narborough Road I assumed. Then she said:
"You know, in The States, we don't let blind people drive."
(Wed 10th Feb 2016, 13:29, More)

» Tactless

Funeral Feed-up
Me and my parents went to a funeral a few years back for an elderly Great aunt of mine. She was quite a well respected lady in the community and there were a large number of mourners there. Suffice to say the service in the church itself was quite a traditional affair, but not terribly remarkable.
After the service, the congregation filed out of the church to wait whilst the cremation took place.
My mother took this opportunity to pop to the loo, striding out a few minutes later to join my Dad who was on the edge of the hushed reverential crowd waiting, to whom she sniffed the air rather loudly and said in a rather loud voice: "Mmmm. I'm hungry. I smell barbeque!" .
30 faces turning to my mother with a look of shock said it all.
(Fri 4th Nov 2011, 11:35, More)

» I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

What do you call a boy who always cries when the sun gets in his eyes?
Wayne Bow
(Fri 11th May 2018, 19:10, More)