b3ta.com user canyousmellonions?
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for canyousmellonions?:
Profile Info:

31 from near Manchester. Really into pretending I do extreme sports... at any one time you can find a surfboard, mountain bike, inline skates, bodyboard, power kite and other stuff lying round my house. Except they see less action than jeremy clarkson's widge.

Oh and now I'm trying to be a DJ. hahaha!

Edit: I've got my own radio show so woo to me.

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Devastating Put-Downs

fatty bye bye
I used to work with a bunch of people and its fair to say I was carrying a bit of extra timber. I wasnt a circle with a face but it didnt hurt when I fell over that much.
After leaving I lost loads of weight from becoming a dad, splitting up with an ex and doing the 3 peaks challenge and a triathlon (oooh).
Having not seen the lads I worked with since I left, one texted me asking if I fancied a pint some time.
Replied: "Sure mate would be good to see you, you might not recognise me Ive lost nearly 5 stone!"
Him: "Still a fat cnut then."
(Thu 24th Nov 2011, 16:22, More)

» Essential Items

apart from the occasional smell of booze and cigs
i always carry my lucky mini 8 ball pool ball keyring. i like pool, 8 is my lucky number and if I ever run into a bunch of gnomes playing pool in a forest who have accidentally potted the black into a weasels burrow then i'll be Mr. Popular.
(Thu 27th Oct 2005, 14:32, More)

» When animals attack...

and I gave a wild new forest horse thing a piece of chocolate fudge cake once and it fell in love with me and wouldnt let me walk off and was whinnying and it tried to make love to me and then it did make love to me and it had babies and I saw one of the babies and it waved at me with its twisted 5 fingered hoof.

(Fri 3rd Jun 2005, 10:51, More)

» When animals attack...

we used to have
2 sheep and when we got bored playing football we used to 'sheep-ride' which means grabbing the wooly feckers arse fleece and it will run off with you sprinting along behind it like a welshman on viagra. whoever holds on longest wins (think rodeo). believe me sheep are strong as fuck, im 15 stone and i got flung into a fence.

anyway they ganged up on me with a goat we had too and twatted shit out of me in a corner and broke my nose.

i like ducks and kittens now.
(Fri 3rd Jun 2005, 10:34, More)

» Stupid Dares

bored bar staff
i've done my fair share of working behind bars... last place I was at I had the Monday and Tuesday shift amongst others. Bearing in mind this is a semi rural pub with no quiz nights or anything on on these days.

Long and short of it, by 10 to eleven someone bet me 2 quid to eat the slice of lemon that had been sitting in the plug hole of the behind-the-bar sink where everyone chucks down any left over beer and rinses the clothes and ashtrays out.

It didnt taste lemony. It was brown.

Then I did a double or quits to wring the manky old cloth from said sink into a glass and drink the "water".

4 quid well earned.

*gips at the thought*
(Thu 1st Nov 2007, 17:24, More)
[read all their answers]