keys locked in car? check. handbrake off? check.

(Sat 22nd Oct 2005, 19:54, More)

» Sexual fetishes

Ahhhh how all out shall I make this post? Let's go crazy...
Okay I've been heavily into the fetish game since I was 17, and I mean heavily.. I've done essentially everything you could think of at one time or another, and ended up on the net and DVD for varying fetishistic reasons.

Sooo.. up until a few months ago I was in a committed relationship with a pup (that is, a submissive who is also into Master/Dog roleplay, he had a very developed pup mindset) for 18 months, he was the most successful of a string of M/S relationships I had while a rather accomplished dominant. For a young 'un, I'm bloody good at it.

Since then i've come to realise my true calling is actually in submission (massive epiphany ahoy!), and I'm proud to say I'm actually an owned slave myself. I wear the tag of my Master 24/7 and I couldn't be happier. Brillo.

At the same time however I do pro-domming as well, because currently I've moved to pretty much the most expensive place in the universe, and I've only just got a job. Huzzah! So I spend evenings curled up at my Master's feet, only to go and dom the fuck out of some old guy for cash. Also, brillo.

So let's whizz through some of my fetishes...

SENSORY DEPRIVATION/BREATH CONTROL= Massively into powerplay and exchange, in both roles. The less I can do, or the less a sub can do under my control the better. Hoods, gags and blindfolds ftw. Breath control is the logical extension of the powerplay, requiring fuckloads of trust and confidence you know what you're doing. I know very much what I'm doing, and have taken BC to its extremes, and downright love havig it done to me. Nothing like being on the verge of unconsciousness under the control of someone else and being completely helpless to do anything about it.

BONDAGE= Yay bondage, in all its forms.. being tied up and tying up is always gonna be frikkin awesome. I'm quite good at escaping stuff, so give me chains and padlocks anyday, far more secure! Ropework I can usually wangle my way out... haha. Started out my kinky life modelling on a well known gay amateur bondage site, and went from there really.

RUBBER= Well anything skintight really, rubber, neoprene (got a tonne of wetsuits, bout to sell a load on ebay if anyone is into it!?) and lycra... love the feel, love the smells, love the look. Spent far too much on gear in the past years, and it takes up far too much space. Leather also a winner.

S&M= My Master has turned me into a right masochistic little bitch it has to be said, love my pain... drops me into subspace far too easily. Sadistic as fuck too, I love doling it out in equal measures.

TT= Tit torture, nipple play... massively sensitive round there, and a brilliant play, as you can really ramp up how hard you're playing.. can be light and sensual right up to stupidly hard and agonising. Either way gets me grinning like a loon.

other things would be watersports, hypnotism, anal play, pup play, footy kit, cages, tickle torture (as top) and heh pretty much everything else.. ever. Yeah I've even tried scat, its... alright. Nothing to write home about. It's SLIGHTLY less minging than you'd expect, but only slightly.

Oh yeah, and I really wanna try vac-racking, its pretty much the only thing I've not done yet. Two rubber sheets in a frame, get in the middle, vacuum sucks the air out, leaving you trapped in between in complete rubber bondage. Oh go on then.

I'm a filthy git. It's all good.
(Wed 28th Oct 2009, 0:15, More)

» Petty Sabotage

Ahh the wonder of being a geek at school
After many years of having no friends, and learning to love the shitty little excuses for computers in the labs at school.. I'd amassed quite the knowledge of how to mess up the computer lessons of all the techy-illiterate bastards who surrounded me.
Since I was in a class that I believe was formulated to give me maximum grief (7/8/9/10/11LWP... I HATE YOU) I had lots of targets.
Anyway, a fine creation of mine was to recreate the command prompt with a bat file whilst I was logged in. I'd direct someone who i despised onto the computer saying it was free. They'd type in their login, and their password.. this would then not log them in, but print out the login and password on the printer.
As they didn't log in right, and I was a geek, they'd ask me why it didn't work.. I'd tell them some crap, they'd go work with a mate, I'd go get the sheet of paper, then proceed to spend a lunchtime or two filling their user areas with stuff they shouldn't have, and propagating it across the network for everyone else's enjoyment :)
When it comes to hunting it down, the network administrators would find it nestled away in x's user area and they'd get a bollocking! YAY!

Chris Grahamslaw, you have a stupid name, and you stole my watch... but at least I got you banned from the labs for putting Mario on the system... or did you?

Heh heh heh


I enjoyed the geektastic nostalgia too much to even think about apologising for length.
(Wed 4th May 2005, 12:00, More)

» Now, there was no need for that...

Gay bondage model shoots hungover ARE NOT GOOD.
I model on a kinky website on the intarweb, depicting lads tied up.
I'm from up North, and the guy who does the tie is from dirty dirty Essex.. and so it makes sense that I stay over so we get a long time to do the shoot.
The night before the shoot, copious amounts of vodka, and very unwisely whisky both combined with coke (the combination of which being a surefire path to Chunksville) are guzzled, with a break for a Big Mac meal at the local McDonalds.
I drink rather more than is strictly necessary and get back to his swigging Smirnoff Red out the bottle and talking complete nonsense.

Cue the next morning, I wake up and smell something odd, I see something odd. A huge pool of very dark brown with the consistency of treacle, with large bits of white stuff in it.. yum! Half digested McDs combined with booze.. all over myself, the futon and cushions. I also have a huge bump on my head which transpires to be from when i walked into a doorway which I don't strictly remember whatsoever.

My mate helps clean up, and then says we need to get on with the kink. I'm feeling frikkin horrible, aching all over, and on the brink of being sick again, and plead for something simple and not painful.

So... the waking in my own smelly beef and booze barf, and all round pain evidently not being enough, he decides the first tie to be this:



Yup, the most intensely arm bending hogtie variant I'd ever been put in.. it bloody hurt the second he put me in it, and then proceeded to tickle the fuck out of me relentlessly while i spouted some quite vulgar vocabulary.

Head like a floaty brick?! Agonising rope bondage pain!? NO NEEEEED!

..and especially no need for pink hair.
(Fri 17th Jun 2005, 23:57, More)

» The Onosecond

Having Two People Called Richard On Your Phone
Is not generally a terribly bad thing.

However, when one is a horny teenage guy you're planning to meet up with for sex.. and the other is your homophobic boss at work, this becomes slightly more dodgy.

Adding excessive alcohol to the equation, can if you're not careful result in you pouring out your feelings to your superior, wishing to engage in gay oral sex, and some hot kinky bondage.

You have no idea how long it takes to tell everyone that someone else sent it as a joke (for this was my alibi), when everyone is singing alternative lyrics to the YMCA in your face.

Bastards.
(Thu 26th May 2005, 15:28, More)

» Accidental innuendo

While at the house of a fellow b3tan this wonderfully inappropriate gem was uttered...
He's putting one of his kids to bed, we say good night to her... and she suddenly realises she's left her favourite toy downstairs and wants it in bed with her. It's called Lucky.

"I WANT TO GO DOWN AND GET LUCKY... DADDY!!! I WANT TO GO DOWN AND GET LUCKY!"

I nearly fell down the stairs laughing :D
(Sat 14th Jun 2008, 12:40, More)