» My First Experience of the Internet

summer, 2002. first iMac G3. mother is out to get fags and i connect to our local ISP.
my mother is a single parent. having heard no end of man hate and small penis jokes since childhood, i spent many years thinking my penis was too small; that somehow i was unusual and would spend the rest of my life as a bitter man.

imagine my surprise when entering in "fanny" and "boobs" into google for the first time. unusual websites i found made my penis activate! "at last", thought i. "no longer is my penis an underachieving shrimp with no hair! even the willies on this website is bald."

a banner ad at the top of the page caught my interest.

"how odd. it says here i can get a monster penis by just clicking!"

i clicked.

no growth.

if you ever had one of these iMacs, you'll know there's a small gap between the desk and the computer that's perfectly sized for a small, prepubescent erection.

that's how my mother found me trying to fuck the computer whilst right clicking and downloading the banner ad .gif image in an attempt to make the monster penis somehow download to my chap.

length? about 5 1/2 inches these days.
(Sat 24th Mar 2012, 12:40, More)