» Housemates From Hell III

Housemate from hell...
He was working in telesales but hated it. One weekend he decided to drown his sorrows with a catering sized bag of disco biscuits and proceed to ask his boss "why the fuck was he ringing him on a Sunday?" when he'd rung to see where he was at 11am Monday morning.

I was working at home at the time so was now lumbered with a tailspinning self destructor with the money from a payoff in his pocket. Cue much hilarity and many more of said disco biscuits which culminated in me walking back in from popping out to get some milk for a cup of tea one lunchtime, only to find him on the living room sofa, hanging out the back of the first of three ladies of questionable repute that he employed that particular day. It took me a moment to realise what was going on in which time he'd turned to me with a grin from ear to ear and winked.

The last I saw of him was handing him over to his parents early one morning so they could take him to the airport to catch a flight to Australia. He could barely walk as he'd taken it upon himself to neck the last dozen or so of his pills before going. The look of horror on their faces haunts me to this day...
(Sat 14th Mar 2015, 6:30, More)