b3ta.com user Ambegris
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» Dumped

I had a 2-year relationship
with the most beautiful, charming woman I've ever known. She was smart, witty and into all the same stuff as me. When we broke up it was funny. Wait. Not funny. The other one. Harrowing.
(Tue 8th Jan 2013, 16:03, More)

» Made me laugh

Overheard in a supermarket....
Walking past the Halloween displays, mother to child:

"You've got a skull! I'm not buying you another one!"
(Fri 7th Dec 2012, 13:21, More)

» B3TA Most Haunted

I was a ghost that terrified children. Sort of.

It's the late nineties and I am a young graduate. I've been invited back to the kids' theatre group to which I used to belong to direct a play featuring the older members (15-19) as an experiment into doing something other than pantos and Oliver!

The play chosen involves an adult cast but with one child character, played by a 10-year-old who was obedient and showed talent. He also wanted to be told stories. After telling him an elaborate version of Orpheus (I was reading Sandman at the time) he wants to hear a true story. I make up a tale of love and murder that took place in this very theatre... exactly one hundred years ago this very week.

Child is thrilled and happily goes off and tells the rest of the cast. They come to me asking if it's true. Delighted, I go on to make up more details and get other folks who run the place to corroborate the story, some adding details of their own.

The day before we open we're in the theatre during the day to rehearse. During a break the cast want me to turn all the lights off to see if they can see tragic "Suzanne" who was pushed off the balcony and now performs on stage as she never could in her lifetime. They sit on the front row of the audience and I go up onto the balcony where the light switches are.

The lights go out. After 30 seconds of silence someone squeals. A shape moves across the stage. Everyone saw it. They watch some more. It happens again.

From my vantage point I can see a tiny shaft of light filtered in via the foyer shines from the front door onto the centre of the stage. Every time someone walks past the theatre a shadow is cast. But never mind that, everybody else sees a ghost.

I silently walk to the other side of the balcony and push a roll of gaffer tape over the edge and sneak back. The tape gently rolls down the aisle, building up speed before it whacks into the stage with a definate bang.

Screams. I flick the lights back on. Someone claims the tape was on the stage earlier so something must have thrown it off. We get back to work.

Every now and then I go back to that theatre to support the group that helped and supported me. I also hear the tales of Suzanne and the jealous actress who didn't want her to be Juliet but her death was officially ruled a suicide.

I hope this story continues to be passed on. It made me realise exactly from where ghost stories come.
(Sun 16th Sep 2012, 16:57, More)

» I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Do you know what gets my goat?
El Chupacabra.
(Mon 20th Aug 2018, 23:52, More)

» Acting out your fantasies

Roses are loud.
Violets are crunchy.
I've got synaesthesia.
(Sun 16th Feb 2014, 23:18, More)
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