b3ta.com user jerrykew
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» Messing With Their Head

Anal graphic designer
No, I don't know if he was good at drawing arseholes.
Another mate of mine worked for a graphic design company, in the office a designer who had a huge array of pens, all neatly arrayed in his drawer, and very very protective of them.
For weeks they gradually tightened a nut on the drawer runners, till it required quite a pull to open the drawer, the knack of which the victim got.
The payoff, one night they removed the drawer stops, graphite lubricated the runners. Following morning pens hurled through the office along with a disintegrating drawer.
(Fri 17th Apr 2015, 12:02, More)

» Moving home

Not mine, but the removers we used
When I was a nipper in 1972, we moved from NI (norn arlan) to 'the mainland'.

We got on well with the movers, particularly as they took the same ferry etc. They were sharing stories with us and we asked about the worst they'd had. Chap said it wasn't necessarily the worst, but made them laugh.

They turned up at a house, and when they arrived, the family stood up from the breakfast table and left. They hadn't even washed up.

So.... They duly, as arranged, packed the house, and the breakfast table, memorising everything, and, at the other end, completely unpacked the house and put the dirty breakfast dishes exactly as arranged at the original house.
(Wed 7th Jan 2015, 13:08, More)

» Messing With Their Head

A mate (same one as the graphic design gag) used to go past a 'catholic repository' (a shop that sells tacky religious stuff) on his way to work.

Each morning he would drop in and buy a postcard of the pope. Eventually shop owner started to interrogate him as to why. Friend would smile a beatific smile, and say he liked them.

Eventually he was banned from the shop.
(Fri 17th Apr 2015, 14:20, More)

» Messing With Their Head

Similarities to the pan gag
A friend of mine worked for Rolls Royce many years ago in a drawing office. The lifers there were know to all as 'lifers'. After Christmas one of them came in in a Homburg, joy ensued as the gang decided what to do with it. They pulled down the hatband, and added masking tape, twice a week for weeks. Eventually the lifer mentioned that his head seemed to be expanding. Two more weeks of addition, followed by steady removal at the same pace as the original addition.

They never told him.

To this day the guy believes that his head expanded and contracted, quite spontaneously over several months.
(Fri 17th Apr 2015, 11:57, More)

» Not Getting the Job

Way back in the primeval swamps of computing -1976
I went for my first job interview as a trainee operator for ICL computers, what was endearingly known as the IBM of UK computing. (a part of fujitsu now.)
Interviewed by a senior op. Sailed through, final wrap, "Is there anything you'd like to ask us?"
"What is the career path from this job to managing director"

Left about 2 minutes later.
(Tue 16th Jun 2015, 15:28, More)
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