b3ta.com user katie hopkins
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» False Economies

We have two horses
and recently paid the GDP of a small country to have one of them covered (shagged, in other words) by a certified stallion. Clearly he was good, as the mare was soon pregnant, and a foal was duly delivered on time and healthy, or so we thought. She was fine whilst on mother's milk, but when introduced to solids developed a bad case of acid reflux. Rather a messy job for our Italian stable lad, who was heard to exclaim "Hey! this-a foal's sick onna me!"
(Wed 25th Jun 2014, 18:55, More)

» Stags and Hens

on my stag night my mates cling filmed me upside down naked to a lamppost
on a main roundabout in town, then fucked off to the other side of the road to point and laugh/take pictures. i was there for ages,couldnt move or nothing.

long story short i pissed in my own mouth.
(Thu 30th Jan 2014, 18:42, More)

» Break-up Stories

The call reception on my iPhone is terrible
Fucking EE, not even 1g never mind 4
(Thu 12th Sep 2013, 14:26, More)

» Life Hacks

including spelling mistakes in you're post will bring all the pedants out from under they're rocks

(Thu 28th May 2015, 21:39, More)

» British Slang Dictionary

slang is for plebs who lack proper vocabulary

(Tue 2nd Feb 2016, 14:05, More)
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