b3ta.com user @lexistwit
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@lexistwit on the twitters. Now more than 90% of @mockeree. Also a lapsed @NowhereCitizen.

Recent front page messages:

(Tue 13th Feb 2024, 14:43, More)

If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face.

(Tue 6th Feb 2024, 22:26, More)

Connect Fab 4

(Mon 22nd Jan 2024, 2:06, More)

"You there, boy! What meme is this?"
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(Sat 20th Jan 2024, 23:45, More)

This is normal.

(Sun 14th Jan 2024, 19:46, More)

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(Thu 11th Jan 2024, 22:30, More)

Explains that expression

(Fri 2nd Jun 2023, 16:38, More)

(Mon 17th Apr 2023, 3:38, More)

'Well, this is it! I'm going to give you a damn good thrashing!'

(Tue 11th Apr 2023, 15:42, More)

He outfoxed the fox and out-slithered the snake, and he told a tall tale of an ambush by cake.

(Mon 27th Mar 2023, 10:53, More)

What is Tory policy, but hate persevering?

(Wed 22nd Mar 2023, 11:29, More)

I hope you're satisfied, Thatcher!
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(Wed 22nd Mar 2023, 8:22, More)

I made this

(Fri 24th Feb 2023, 15:15, More)

What d'you mean this was last week's challenge?
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(Thu 16th Jun 2022, 12:34, More)

(Thu 3rd Mar 2022, 9:54, More)

Actually, they're robots in disguise.

(Sat 22nd Jan 2022, 22:23, More)

β€˜Tis a pea roast, but it worketh

(Sat 4th Dec 2021, 15:17, More)

Crockett and Tubbs

(Mon 18th Oct 2021, 0:50, More)

Licensed to kill you, to kill you, licensed

(Mon 27th Sep 2021, 1:52, More)

𝘝𝘒𝘭𝘒𝘳 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘱π˜ͺ𝘳π˜ͺ𝘴. All men must sweat.

(Wed 22nd Sep 2021, 4:02, More)

Get Brexit d'oh!

(Mon 20th Sep 2021, 14:35, More)

β€œThe Irritating Genital Man”, Berthold Woltze, 1874

(Wed 15th Sep 2021, 18:28, More)

Sainsbury's Basic Instinct

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(Tue 31st Aug 2021, 12:27, More)

In goal no-one can hear you scream.

(Tue 29th Jun 2021, 17:16, More)

The Ineptwieners

(Mon 28th Jun 2021, 8:37, More)

"So if your contact tracing app goes on the fritz, or your secret road trip blows up, or your evil plot conks out, before you call a press conference, turn on all the lights, check all the cabinets, 'cause you never can tell. There just might be a Grayling in your house."

(Fri 13th Nov 2020, 22:43, More)

The fastest policeman in the west

(Sun 16th Aug 2020, 21:38, More)

I 'ate you, inherent unfairness of the welfare system

(Fri 31st Jul 2020, 9:40, More)

Don't push me, Geoffrey.

(Tue 28th Jul 2020, 12:42, More)

Kellyanna Conda

(Tue 23rd Jun 2020, 23:20, More)

This counts, right?

(Sun 21st Jun 2020, 23:04, More)

"I don't have a racist bone in my body."

(Mon 18th May 2020, 1:44, More)

🎡I see a little omeletto of a man 🎢

(Mon 13th Apr 2020, 13:22, More)

No matter how much it cries, no matter how much it begs, never Brexit after midnight.

(Tue 12th Nov 2019, 4:02, More)

"It's a crap!"

(Mon 11th Nov 2019, 15:17, More)

This Is Spinal Tapestry
It be not TV, yet I coulde not helpe it

(Sat 9th Nov 2019, 2:34, More)

Wrong spaceship
for the cast and logo... but it's time travel, innit?

(Wed 6th Nov 2019, 22:29, More)

Summer is coming

(Fri 2nd Aug 2019, 18:15, More)

Appetite for (Facial) Distortion

(Sun 28th Jul 2019, 3:11, More)

"I 'ate you, freedom of movement"

(Mon 8th Jul 2019, 8:18, More)

Leonardo + Banksy = Escher

(Sun 7th Jul 2019, 21:19, More)

"This means something. This is important."

(Mon 24th Jun 2019, 23:04, More)

Well, that explains that

(Sun 9th Jun 2019, 22:58, More)

Pulp Crucifixion

(Sat 20th Apr 2019, 5:08, More)

Prophet Club

(Fri 19th Apr 2019, 22:50, More)

The Damp Side of the Moon

(Sun 14th Apr 2019, 14:01, More)

Twisted furball choker

(Sun 14th Apr 2019, 10:54, More)

Gotham Hill
Dunna-nunna-nunna-nunna buddub-buddub bowwwww

(Fri 5th Apr 2019, 0:03, More)


(Sat 23rd Mar 2019, 2:31, More)

Alien Covfefe

(Sat 23rd Mar 2019, 2:01, More)

Reservoir Doge

(Mon 18th Mar 2019, 8:15, More)

Bridget Jones's Dairy

(Sun 3rd Mar 2019, 0:10, More)

Bram Stoker's Primula

(Sat 2nd Mar 2019, 22:05, More)

Ok then, let's get the obvious one out of the way.

(Fri 11th Jan 2019, 19:05, More)

Well, nearly.

(Sun 6th Jan 2019, 23:25, More)

(Sat 5th Jan 2019, 10:57, More)

Remember when Facebook was done by fax?

(Sun 30th Dec 2018, 12:49, More)

Getting Salvador Daleks out of the way so you don't have to.

(Fri 23rd Nov 2018, 15:31, More)

Walking in the aaaarrrrghh

(Tue 16th Oct 2018, 3:40, More)

The Vampire Bites Neck

(Mon 15th Oct 2018, 1:34, More)

My first pea roast *proud face* *slightly ashamed face*

(Fri 12th Oct 2018, 19:41, More)

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a first instalment in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a sequel featuring just one of the original cast.

Editor's note: Pride & Prejudice is in fact the fourth in the long-running series, but chronologically set before the events of The Pride and the Prejudice: Pemberley Drift.
(Mon 1st Oct 2018, 6:31, More)

Yippee-ki-yay, Mother Superior
All he wanted to do was take up the cloth and live out the rest of his life in peace. But when terrorists attack Sister McClane's convent, they soon discover that... OLD HABITS DIE HARD

(Fri 28th Sep 2018, 19:12, More)

When two tribes go to wash

(Sun 23rd Sep 2018, 12:48, More)

It was purely for research purposes, you understand.

(Sun 16th Sep 2018, 2:02, More)

Dice Hard
...with some vengeances

(Fri 31st Aug 2018, 12:52, More)

Game over, ma'am, game over.

(Fri 31st Aug 2018, 2:30, More)

You gotta be fuckin' kidding.

(Tue 14th Aug 2018, 18:36, More)

My God, it's full of spots.

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(Sun 12th Aug 2018, 23:01, More)

Total power!

(Sat 11th Aug 2018, 20:05, More)

(Mon 6th Aug 2018, 2:58, More)

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