b3ta.com user ashurek
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Have had to resort to lurking again these days as my job requires me to work now.

Recent front page messages:

Dave you tosser.... G O L D !!

(Tue 16th Dec 2003, 11:38, More)

News just in...
The last Russian miner has been found alive!

(Wed 29th Oct 2003, 9:24, More)

Antarctic Baywatch

Click for biggy
(Thu 25th Sep 2003, 12:01, More)

Don't worry dear...
I think we passed a garage at the last corner.

(Mon 22nd Sep 2003, 15:26, More)

Ooh! Ouch! It's Cold!

Click for biggy
(Tue 16th Sep 2003, 12:35, More)

You know when your Dad catches you smoking
and makes you smoke a whole pack...


Yay! Another FP!! :)
(Mon 8th Sep 2003, 13:31, More)

P0rn for the blind

Click for biggy

Sorry if done before :)
(Fri 5th Sep 2003, 10:49, More)

They wished he'd play Cowboys and Indians
like all the other little boys

click me for bigger penguins

Click for biggism
(Fri 29th Aug 2003, 10:45, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Yum!

This was the first cake I ever baked... and the best
It was for my son's 3rd birthday and was chocolate and banana sponge inside :)

(Mon 1st Jul 2013, 13:06, More)

» Shit Stories

Shitty Snuff
Whilst I was at uni, my friend and myself got into the habit of doing snuff. On this occasion, being winter, we had a menthol one that looked just like a white powder...

We were both in a club pissed up, chatting when my mate suddenly says to me 'yeah, yeah...anyway I've just shat myself.'

Laughing we both go off to the toilet. My mate goes into a cubicle and starts cleaning himself up and using a broken bottle starts to cut off his shitridden pants.

Laughing outside the cubicle, I decide to have a bit of snuff. So there's me snorting white powder off my wrist - when 3 blokes walk in and see me. They start demanding I give them some 'coke' and things get a bit nasty when they dont believe its only snuff. A scuffle soon ensued, ending with my mate flinging open the cubicle door - standing there naked from the waist down, with shit on his legs, shit on his hands, a broken bottle in one hand and a pair of shitty pants in the other "Leave my f*cking mate alone you c*nts!!"

They did. Quickly. The expression of horror and fear on their faces was priceless.
(Thu 6th May 2004, 16:33, More)

» My first love

She had the best tits in the school...
and I'd fancied her for ages, calling her names, tripping her up etc.
Eventually I asked her if "she'd go out with me" and she said yes!
My two best friends got really jealous and stopped talking to me (one of them turned out to be gay.. sure it was because he fancied me!)
We were together for about a year then I dumped her... because I was bored!?!

Met her again in July last year, both still fancied each other and got on really well now that we'd grown up - so I asked her to marry me!!

We got married in August this year and she’s still got amazing tits!!
(Thu 20th Oct 2005, 13:46, More)

» Beautiful Moments

First & Last
L was my first ever girlfriend, we went out for just over a year when we were 14/15yrs old and split up after school.

Fast forward 15years to last summer. We got back together again and everything is going great. Actually everything is going amazing!

One afternoon about 3 months after we started seeing each other again, we took her neices swimming down the local pool. At the end of the day I went off to have a shower and as I returned I saw her playing with her neices across the pool, tickling each other, laughing etc. I stopped dead in my tracks.

It was like I'd been struck by lightening, heart stopped beating, everything went quiet, I nearly cried.

I just knew at that point that my first ever girlfriend, now this woman 15 years later, was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and start a family with. It was the most amazing feeling of absolute love I've ever known.

We're getting married in August!
(Wed 16th Mar 2005, 19:44, More)

» Pretentious bollocks

Tracy Emin

anything by this "woman"

one of the few people to make me want to punch the television when I see her on it.

...utter, utter shit.
(Wed 28th Sep 2005, 15:00, More)
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