b3ta.com board
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Messageboard » The Royal Wedding » Message 10409195

[challenge entry] Not a picture, but a poem
For the last few thousand years, it feels
Nobody could escape
That some privileged royal twunt
Is wedding someone called Kate

On and fucking on they go
Time after fucking time
So I'm curled up in a corner
Venting frustrations in rhyme

'Oh! see the dress she's wearing'
'O!, look how she's done her hair'
Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, mate
But I don't fucking care

For months they've wittered on about
Royal this and royal that
But I still don't give a shit about
Some fucking royal twat

So now, thank fuck, they're married
Maybe now we'll get some peace
No more royal stories
..'til the royal divorce, at least


From the The Royal Wedding challenge. See all 382 entries (closed)

(philbo baggins, Tue 3 May 2011, 14:39, archived)
# 6 years, 11 months and 6 days
(waxdart hello., Tue 3 May 2011, 14:40, archived)
# ^This^
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 3 May 2011, 14:41, archived)
# ...yet you gave enough of a shit to write a poem about it and post it here.
Well done.
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Tue 3 May 2011, 14:42, archived)
# yes, but...
I don't give a flying fuck about the wedding. But after having it incessantly rammed into my head for weeks, I penned the rant, because I had no choice but be subjected to neverending wedding coverage. Without becoming a hermit for a month, there was no way of avoiding it.

Then I come to b3ta and find it's got a royal wedding image challenge.

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH
(philbo baggins, Tue 3 May 2011, 15:14, archived)
# Hurrah!
at long last, the promised merger between /talk and /board!
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 3 May 2011, 14:42, archived)
# This was in the newsletter wasn't it?
(I helped save b3ta! Eduard Khil's Haircut is lurking and liking on, Tue 3 May 2011, 14:46, archived)
# Wash your mouth out
(I helped save b3ta! Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Tue 3 May 2011, 14:46, archived)
# talk board it full of cunts. Keep them away.
(waxdart hello., Tue 3 May 2011, 14:50, archived)
# The Mos Eisley of B3ta
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Tue 3 May 2011, 14:51, archived)
# /board = Coruscant Jedi Temple
(I helped save b3ta! Eduard Khil's Haircut is lurking and liking on, Tue 3 May 2011, 14:53, archived)
# glassco.cx = Alderaan
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Tue 3 May 2011, 14:56, archived)
#
b3ta.com/board/10333278
(I helped save b3ta! Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Tue 3 May 2011, 14:57, archived)
# Wise words.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 3 May 2011, 15:10, archived)
# Never say that again.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 3 May 2011, 15:03, archived)
# No fucking way!
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Tue 3 May 2011, 15:27, archived)
# I Wish I'd Looked After My Teeth
(I helped save b3ta! fuscous, Tue 3 May 2011, 14:43, archived)
#
www.pamayres.com/tour.asp
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Tue 3 May 2011, 14:48, archived)
# haha!
(benito vaselini no not that one, Tue 3 May 2011, 14:57, archived)
# Look everyone, it's the People's Poet!
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Tue 3 May 2011, 14:43, archived)
# *Ducks*
(I helped save b3ta! Eduard Khil's Haircut is lurking and liking on, Tue 3 May 2011, 14:48, archived)
# What's your favouwite type of gig ... PIG?
Barry Manilow?

Or the Black & White Minstewel Show?!
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 3 May 2011, 14:51, archived)
# I lolled
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Tue 3 May 2011, 14:55, archived)
# ..................BAGGINS!.............................SHIRE!.......................
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 3 May 2011, 14:43, archived)
# welcome back
pull up a kitten, shop a chair, take off your hipster glasses and grow a pair.

PICTURES DAMNIT.
(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Tue 3 May 2011, 14:46, archived)
# That really doesn't scan well at all
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 3 May 2011, 14:47, archived)
# The rhythm is all over the place
2/10
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Tue 3 May 2011, 14:49, archived)
# Needs more Buffy
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 3 May 2011, 14:50, archived)
# that's because
you're reading it wrong
(philbo baggins, Tue 3 May 2011, 15:17, archived)
# TL;DR
(I helped save b3ta! doog Don't read this., Tue 3 May 2011, 14:56, archived)
# If a picture's worth a thousand words
you've got to write another 8 of those before it balances out.

note: is not encouraging this course of action.
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Tue 3 May 2011, 14:59, archived)
# So, should I..
.. screenshot it, then repost as a JPG?
(philbo baggins, Tue 3 May 2011, 15:16, archived)
# only if it's ontop of a picture of a kitten doing something funny
then, and ONLY then is it lolworthy.


*flees*
(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Tue 3 May 2011, 15:32, archived)
# First you must delete the thread
(I helped save b3ta! Eduard Khil's Haircut is lurking and liking on, Tue 3 May 2011, 15:34, archived)
# Yes but
this is no happy ending. It’s just a happy mid-point followed by an extraordinarily sad ending. The old man straps the fish to the side of the boat and heads home. On the way, he is attacked by sharks, who slowly but surely eat away at the marlin while the old man, starving and exhausted, tries to beat them off with a harpoon, a club, and finally nothing but a simple knife. By the time he makes it back to shore, there is nothing left of the fish but a skeleton. The old man goes to sleep and dreams of the same lions of his youth.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 3 May 2011, 15:09, archived)
# ?
My cat's name is mittens
(I helped save b3ta! brown-wings Made with three kinds of butter, Tue 3 May 2011, 16:08, archived)
# ah well
now that bin laden's been killed you can wallow in the much more depressing news of the upcoming terrorist attacks, conspiracy theories and massive ensuing racism you grumpy old fuck.
(I helped save b3ta! Spunky McPunk not dead yet, Tue 3 May 2011, 15:10, archived)
# You're
not a Vogon, by chance are you?
(I helped save b3ta! TheSundaeLunch I'm a fucking shrub, alright?, Tue 3 May 2011, 16:02, archived)
# My secret is out
..resistance is useless
(philbo baggins, Tue 3 May 2011, 16:06, archived)
# Epilogue
I wonder if this princess
Will die in twisted car
For rumours about fucking
A muslim or but-lar

And then become immortalised
As the people's Royal
After being lanced
Like a Royal-arse-itching boil

Then William he'll re-marry
A long time friendly horse
The nation will be saddened
She won't get killed, of course!
(I helped save b3ta! brown-wings Made with three kinds of butter, Tue 3 May 2011, 16:06, archived)