having four catsI am used to devising new and unusual ways of winding them up.
one of the cats likes chasing torch beams, resulting in this:-
(which has since been photoshopped to include an ammo belt and samurai sword, which i've mislaid at this moment in time)
* don't leave open bags of catnip drops around - you tend to come home and find your cats spazzed out rolling around in their own drool having consumed the entire aforementioned bag
* don't let cats sit on packing tape you just ripped off packaging - they run around like the clappers trailling sticky tape that's stuck to its arse
* locking the cat flap, or setting to only allow in, or only allow out makes very confused cats
* cats love albas oil. no wait, they don't. opened a bottle of it, shoved it in front of the cat in the above picture. it took a huge sniff off it, then 2 seconds later literally jumped 3 feet in the air, then ran off at high speed. didn't see it for 3 or 4 hours after that
* lastly, don't make your extremely timid cat scared in any way. mine did a backflip off my girlfriend's face once. fact.
i thought it was funny anyway.
(one of the cats likes chasing torch beams, resulting in this:-
(which has since been photoshopped to include an ammo belt and samurai sword, which i've mislaid at this moment in time)
* don't leave open bags of catnip drops around - you tend to come home and find your cats spazzed out rolling around in their own drool having consumed the entire aforementioned bag
* don't let cats sit on packing tape you just ripped off packaging - they run around like the clappers trailling sticky tape that's stuck to its arse
* locking the cat flap, or setting to only allow in, or only allow out makes very confused cats
* cats love albas oil. no wait, they don't. opened a bottle of it, shoved it in front of the cat in the above picture. it took a huge sniff off it, then 2 seconds later literally jumped 3 feet in the air, then ran off at high speed. didn't see it for 3 or 4 hours after that
* lastly, don't make your extremely timid cat scared in any way. mine did a backflip off my girlfriend's face once. fact.
i thought it was funny anyway.
Biscuitzs -.. . -- ----- ...- -.- --. -.-,
Thu 16 Oct 2003, 13:32,
archived)
Is harming goldfish creatively ok?If so, my sister is crazy. she has a positively Andrewly FILTHY fishtank. it once housed a cheap pond fish, with copious traces of alchohol, and hockey-stick juice inside their bloodstream. Poor little fishies. one had fishy cardiac arrest , we had tiny defrillabrators( double-A button batteries) , but to no avail. The fashionably late Gilly went down the shitter. The next one, Sir Gillyanius Teenybopper slooppoop Gingerbeer hairlong greeny OceanGills. (Gillz) was a victim of moth attack. The big super-hot lightbulb attracted them, but the Bulb is a fickle mistress. They were literally , out with a bang. well, more a *wheeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzz KAPOW!*.
The burnt moth bits fell into the tank, and were eaten by Gillz. What a freakin' dumb fish. Whatever is in the moths poisoned Gillz. He was buried in state, (wrapped in a tissue, thrown down the shitter) .
Strangely mom let her have a CAT. yes, a murderous ugly beast of terror who was brought FROM hell in a handbasket. What a moronic little beast he was, creatively named "Cat". He pooped in my sock drawer . Until i found his weakness. Catnip! I bought both a Catnip spray, and catnip flakes. first, i sprayed the aresol can in his face. the (stoned) cat flipped out, and scratched up his own face to get at it. Then with the flakes, i dropped them to him, one by one. Then, to my mistake, they flew into the fishtank. Stupid stoned cat. Jumped in, and stayed until (three days later) he came to his senses, and with a catnip hangover, had a MASSIVE shit on the rug. Bad enough?
(,
Thu 16 Oct 2003, 20:26,
archived)
The burnt moth bits fell into the tank, and were eaten by Gillz. What a freakin' dumb fish. Whatever is in the moths poisoned Gillz. He was buried in state, (wrapped in a tissue, thrown down the shitter) .
Strangely mom let her have a CAT. yes, a murderous ugly beast of terror who was brought FROM hell in a handbasket. What a moronic little beast he was, creatively named "Cat". He pooped in my sock drawer . Until i found his weakness. Catnip! I bought both a Catnip spray, and catnip flakes. first, i sprayed the aresol can in his face. the (stoned) cat flipped out, and scratched up his own face to get at it. Then with the flakes, i dropped them to him, one by one. Then, to my mistake, they flew into the fishtank. Stupid stoned cat. Jumped in, and stayed until (three days later) he came to his senses, and with a catnip hangover, had a MASSIVE shit on the rug. Bad enough?