Tacheorama



From the Moustache challenge. See all 318 entries (closed)

( An Eagle in Your Mind, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:39, archived)

Calls to me cost £3.50 A Minute
Calls to you cost £5.50 A Minute
( Koba Swim across the Volga and get my kite back Dmitry, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:41, archived)

*reverses charges*
*bankrupts*
( HappyToast sorted on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:42, archived)

*asplodes*

( Koba Swim across the Volga and get my kite back Dmitry, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:43, archived)

woah
thats alotta fangina
( SkUG is glad to be out of hospital (stupid lungs), Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:41, archived)

and how
I am awake for five minutes, I can't keep it up though, I feel like death warned up :(
( hexachordal la la la la la, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:09, archived)

have a nice relaxing fart
and pass out from the fumes :)
( SkUG is glad to be out of hospital (stupid lungs), Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:10, archived)

will do ^_^

( hexachordal la la la la la, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:12, archived)

or rather
no I won't. I forgot that the moment I set foot in B3ta, I will be trapped for at least an hour.
( hexachordal la la la la la, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:20, archived)

I've just been asked to design a logo
for a Polish website


did you know that "z" is an actual word in Polish? No idea what it means though. I like learnedningnessing
( HappyToast sorted on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:42, archived)

Garfield sleeping must be quite confusing to them.
Unless z means 'sleepy noise'.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:44, archived)

or "meow"

( mofaha : You Must Always Blow On The Pie, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:44, archived)

or "I have shat in your slippers"

( HappyToast sorted on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:46, archived)

or "I am not remotely funny, and never have been,
and nor is my movie, hahaha, I ate your lasagne"
( mofaha : You Must Always Blow On The Pie, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:49, archived)

it was funny
but only to 12 year olds in 1987
( HappyToast sorted on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:50, archived)

shame it wasn't made for 13 years after that then

(cs192 how appropriate, your mother fights like a cow, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:52, archived)

the marketing men were off their faces on coke and didn't realise the need for such planning

( HappyToast sorted on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:55, archived)

I don't know if you've noticed
bur any garfield strip becomes 500% funnier if you take away garfield's speech bubbles. It's a simple matter of overkill.

Try it. Next time you see a Garfield comic, ignore Garfield's speech bubbles. It'll make you smile, promise.
( hexachordal la la la la la, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:11, archived)

I've seen the websites
and the ones that say he died
( HappyToast sorted on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:12, archived)

well get you, smartypants.
:P
( hexachordal la la la la la, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:14, archived)

sorry if that sounded off
I'm drunk and in the middle of a lot of work :)
( HappyToast sorted on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:18, archived)

haha, s'ok.
This is B3ta, after all!

You cunt!
( hexachordal la la la la la, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:21, archived)

*punches in the kidneys*

( HappyToast sorted on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:22, archived)

*steals your kidneys*
*donates to medical research*
*ia very proud of myself, thank you very much*
( hexachordal la la la la la, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:23, archived)

Mr Sheen?

( mofaha : You Must Always Blow On The Pie, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:44, archived)

Charlie?

( hexachordal la la la la la, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:14, archived)

Daddy?

( hexachordal la la la la la, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:15, archived)

Chips?

( hexachordal la la la la la, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:15, archived)

Dips

( Mighty Nibus who dares gins, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:16, archived)

WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL MY MOTHER

( hexachordal la la la la la, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:17, archived)

Harold Hardrada

( Mighty Nibus who dares gins, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:20, archived)

:O
:O:O:O:O


I'll get you for this.
( hexachordal la la la la la, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:24, archived)

It means 'a' in opposite land.
Which Poland therefore must be.
( An Eagle in Your Mind, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:44, archived)

according to poltran.com
"With (from)"
( finnbar the occasional acid flashback, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:45, archived)

ace!
I am full of knowledgels.

Shame I'm off my face on cheap wine and unable to rememb..... er, what?
( HappyToast sorted on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:47, archived)

*sleeps*
with with with with with with.....
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:47, archived)

sleeps with who?
your manwife will be most annoyed


unless he's filming it of course and it's with another girl, which is fine of course.
( HappyToast sorted on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:48, archived)

Not fine says he.
Slightly unfair says I.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:50, archived)

he's mental
girl on girl action is not only fine, but compulsory round these parts.

I serve canapes
( HappyToast sorted on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:50, archived)

*grumbles*
Edit: 3 years. Actually, it's either three years today, or a few days out either side.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:52, archived)

since you were last at it with a girl?
I was last night so ner-ner-na-ner-ner :P
( HappyToast sorted on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:56, archived)

Yeah well bollocks to you.
X-P

Edit: no, there was a brief moment where my ex girlfriend tried to kiss me about (edit: two years, actually, bloody hell, is that the time?) as manwife was asleep right infuckingfront of us, but I told her off.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:56, archived)

:D
*edit - manwife is silly, manwife has cock, wifewife does not. Nothing wrong with two girls kissing and fumbling as long as they always come back to man, and bring pictures, and maybe the other lady sometimes.
( HappyToast sorted on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:56, archived)

Ah, he's not that kind of chap.
But what I give up in woman I get back in love, so is all good. Doesn't mean I don't miss them any less though.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:04, archived)

and
you can secretly enjoy his massive porn collection ;)
( HappyToast sorted on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:07, archived)

HAHAHAHA
MY massive porn collection. (Toast, you should really know better, this is me)

Although the internet's completely taken over on that count: youporn and redtube are my bestest of friends.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:08, archived)

when you do start up your skinflicks company
feel free to get me to do the logo :D
( HappyToast sorted on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:09, archived)

shoehorn goatse into it
and I'll give you a fiver ;)
( Mushroom, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:10, archived)

HAHAHAHAHAA
(that was quick)
( HappyToast sorted on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:10, archived)

I do my best
:P
( Mushroom, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:11, archived)

Oh definitely.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:12, archived)

unconditional love,
the true, honest, "you make my heart fucking burst with pain" love, is better than any amount of sex whatever the gender. My wife is my best friend and my goddess and if we never had sex again ( I think it's her fucking plan ;) ) then it would not change how much I love her.
( Pasanonic so I compo anything with words, right?, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:16, archived)

Aww that's sweet
That someone's unwavering cold steelfist like love could completely crush your erotic spirit.

On second thoughts I shouldn't have put steelfist.
(Jeru War and Piss, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:16, archived)

Anal Steelfist 4
coming soon from Captain Wow's hardcore emporium
( HappyToast sorted on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:19, archived)

It seems like a reasonable demand to me, if that's how he feels.

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:19, archived)

my rice pudding has never seemed so seductive

( Mighty Nibus who dares gins, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:08, archived)

rice pudding?!
I am totally lost.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:09, archived)

creamy but ever so slightly lumpy

( Mighty Nibus who dares gins, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:11, archived)

There is nothing about this
which is in any way not wrong.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:12, archived)

there is nothing about rice pudding
which is in any way not wrong

it is the devil's goatse discharge
( mutster101 is not the new Doctor Who, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:24, archived)

*slightly*? *INCREDIBLY* more like.

( mutster101 is not the new Doctor Who, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:01, archived)

:D

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:04, archived)

Strangely
that kind of works
( Cocodaye Miasere likes chips and peas, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:49, archived)

(from) (from) (from) (from) (from) (from) (from)

( hexachordal la la la la la, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:15, archived)

shoehorn goatse into it
and I'll give you a fiver ;)
( Mushroom, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:46, archived)

fuck yes

( HappyToast sorted on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:47, archived)

I don't think
"shoehorn" and "goatse" should be used in the same sentence.
Dammit, now I've done it too.
( mofaha : You Must Always Blow On The Pie, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:49, archived)

hahahahahahahah

( HappyToast sorted on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:52, archived)

Well
He had to have got like that somehow ;)
( Mushroom, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:54, archived)

I hope he cleaned it afterwards.

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:55, archived)

I'm imagining two.
Scissors-style.

I really wish I wasn't.
( Mushroom, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:01, archived)

I suggest a nice healthy walk to clean your mind.
Or, fight fire with fire. Watch 2 girls 1 cup.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:03, archived)

I think I'll go with the walk
;)
( Mushroom, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:04, archived)

you are imaginging the mechanical requirements of an anus stretching device
I just wanted to make sure you were aware of that
( HappyToast sorted on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:04, archived)

I did say
I really wish I wasn't!

mofaha started it ;)
( Mushroom, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:05, archived)

he started it
drew it out

and aquired a patent I reckon
( HappyToast sorted on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:08, archived)

you were the one who starting talking about shoehorns and goatse
no one else
( mutster101 is not the new Doctor Who, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:12, archived)

Why did you have to say that?
You've engaged my scientist brain and made me think about it.
Bastard.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:07, archived)

^This!

( ClanSoul http://www.clansoul.com/community/, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:09, archived)

So long as we stop short of drawing up a blueprint, it's not weird.

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:11, archived)

I agree!
........
......
..........
......I'll get the crayons.
( ClanSoul http://www.clansoul.com/community/, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:12, archived)

I was just thinking of this
as one of those victorian-style patents

"Dr Goatse's Patented Amazing Anus-Stretching Device"
( Mushroom, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:12, archived)

I think the best solution would be something fairly thin that could be inserted then inflated/expanded,
rather than a traditional tapered design. For producing a result with a fairly consistent diameter, rather than a cone shape.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:16, archived)

£10 says such a thing already exists

I'm betting away an uncharacteristic amount of money in this thread...
( Mushroom, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:19, archived)

Those Yorkshireman digs earlier must have really affected you.

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:20, archived)

Yeah...

( Mushroom, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:24, archived)

i wish that the phrase 'racheted spindle' had not popped into my mind at this point

( mutster101 is not the new Doctor Who, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:21, archived)

I misread that as 'racheted sphincter'
I think I really need to get away from the computer for a bit... ;)
( Mushroom, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:22, archived)

Oh dear.
Well thanks for sharing.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:22, archived)

no point
there'll already be one
(cs192 how appropriate, your mother fights like a cow, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:14, archived)

you're 15
it's all you ever think about
( HappyToast sorted on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:11, archived)

I dread to think what your childhood was like..

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:12, archived)

I'm so glad I didn't know the internets so well when i was fifteen
it would have delayed the loss of my virginity by about five years.
( hexachordal la la la la la, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:14, archived)

so that's my goddamn problem

( Mushroom, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:15, archived)

quite literally,
yes.

hexachordal to the rescue! *bums*
( hexachordal la la la la la, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:16, archived)

\o/
also I changed the wording to avoid the 'literal' problem ;)
( Mushroom, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:18, archived)

15 a fat lonely lorry driver from Lowestoft
( mutster101 is not the new Doctor Who, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:16, archived)

and he'll do anything you say

( Mighty Nibus who dares gins, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:17, archived)

hahahahahahah
if that's true, it genuinely scare me all the stuff he says to KillerKitty
( HappyToast sorted on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:21, archived)

not if she's a fat lonely truck driver from Alabama

( mutster101 is not the new Doctor Who, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:26, archived)

If this is true, they've both really done their research.

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:27, archived)

COR!
that's epic woo right there
( McBadger CHECK OUT MY SIG OH YEAH MNNNNNNN, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:42, archived)

hahahahaha!
yarse!
( head-doctor internet, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:42, archived)

IS THAT SMUG BASTARD'S BACKGROUND AT THE TOP!?

( ClanSoul http://www.clansoul.com/community/, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:43, archived)

Hahahaha!
It is!
( head-doctor internet, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:43, archived)

I'd know it ANYWHERE

( ClanSoul http://www.clansoul.com/community/, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:44, archived)

Heh...I wondered if anyone would see that!

( An Eagle in Your Mind, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:44, archived)

It'd have to be me.
I have an eye for these things ;)
( ClanSoul http://www.clansoul.com/community/, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:45, archived)

hahahaha
epic!
( Mushroom, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:43, archived)

Hahahahah
I've only just read "Lucan for a good time" :D
( HappyToast sorted on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:51, archived)

hahaha!
you're giving us the extra value hummus there!
( spacefish committing suicide to free the zombie!, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 19:52, archived)

[Notice: Competition Closed.]

(DrZaarlon Is Not As Cool As He'd Like., Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:01, archived)

Hahaha
where to begin
( Jahled Abdul Alhazred, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:19, archived)