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[challenge entry] Rubber stamping quackery since 2009

Just £45 per year gives your pre-bronze age mumbo-jumbo the comforting veneer of Government approval*, virtually indistinguishable from 'real evidence' to the untrained eye.

* Actual approval levels may vary from zero to sod all.
** Sorry, this isn't actually my invention, and it's more actively dangerous than just useless, but I had to vent my spleen somewhere since the BBC don't have a Have Your Say page on this yet. Grrr.

For those of you who haven't watched the news this morning, CNHC is a new government body that approves Supplementary, Complementary and Alternative Medicine (SCAM) practitioners. But, approval is not based on basic common sense: evidence of effectiveness or safety. Instead, it is based on whether they are adequately 'trained' by other SCAM artists, and have insurance. For your £45 a year, you get a lovely 'Government Approved' certificate that you can use to lend legitimacy to your hand-wavy untested rubbish business, and bilk more money out of the ignorant. So, eminently qualified for this competition.

From the Completely fucking useless shit challenge. See all 411 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:32, archived)
# Sorry, but I'm RISing like a spack with a Rubick's Cube™
edit: hold on, is this 'shopped? Has this been hotlinked? NAUGHTY!
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:33, archived)
# "MAM, BALL DOESN'T........BOUNCE!"
says a mong with 2 square orange stickers on his face.
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:41, archived)
# hahahah... oooohhhh :D
nothing beats the guy on the train a while back - he had a very worn looking Rubiks cube, and I thought, wow, he must be one of those guys who can do them in about 5 seconds... Nope, he sat there for the whole journey, and hadn't even managed to get two little squares on a single side to match. Ii bet he's still at it :D
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:46, archived)
# Although speaking of mongs...
....me mate was telling me that he saw two adults and their young mong walking through a carpark, and they kept him busy by playing fetch with a powerball.
"Get the powerball boy!", the dad would bounce it and the mong would rugby charge his way at it, catch the ball and leg it back for his dad to bounce it again.
So whenever I see a mong, I think of crayons and powerballs now.
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:52, archived)
# oddly, I think of Cadbury's Roses...
back when I was doing my art foundation year, at the college there was a course or something for anyone with Down's. One day, there was one of the guys from it (must have been around 19yrs I guess) rushing around at top speed, collaring everyone and offering them Cadbury's Roses as it was his birthday... I didn't laugh or anything, I actually thought it was great that at least someone in the college was genuinely happy for a change :)
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 11:01, archived)
# Yey for happymongs!
I use them for government warnings meself.

(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 11:04, archived)
# can you solve them?
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:54, archived)
# yup, but not in any record time or anything
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:55, archived)
# ALTERNATE CORNERS
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:56, archived)
# form a cross.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:56, archived)
# YES!
One of my few claims to fame.

Can't do the 4x4 cube though.
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:58, archived)
# seen up to 12x12. Rubix cubes don't really entertain me though.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Mon 19 Jan 2009, 11:02, archived)
# BECAUSE YOU CAN'T SOLVE ONE
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 11:03, archived)
# i solved a three by three
took a while though. probably take me ages to do it again.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Mon 19 Jan 2009, 11:04, archived)
# ALTERNATE CORNERS
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 11:10, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:35, archived)
# Awwww, good doggy!
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:36, archived)
# you know what? That's just got me singing the littlest hobo theme tune.....
It's going to be pissing well stuck in my head all day now :P
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:37, archived)
# and maybe tomorrow...
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:37, archived)
# Can't stay for long, just turn around and I'm gone again!
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:39, archived)
# doo doo doop deee doo :)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=banXT6azA-4
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:41, archived)
# YAY! :D
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:42, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:36, archived)
# So what you're saying is....
Wait! What ARE you saying?
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:37, archived)
# He's saying that despite test repeatedly showing
that the placebo effect works, people shouldn't be able to use it to help people.
(MrChimp previously Monsieur, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:44, archived)
# That the placebo effect works
but requires lying to patients about the efficacy of alternative treatments. With evidence-based medicine, you get the placebo effect plus the real effect. Win!

I think a quick plug for What's the Harm? is in order.
(I helped save b3ta! Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:50, archived)
# yeah, yeah, i know
i just felt like being inflammatory!
That's a good website though, i'll bookmark that and show it to hippies when they try and give me herbal tea.

Relatedly, I watched this interview with richard dawkins and nicholas humphrey (prof of psychology) which is notable for both an interesting look at what our brain can do and also for dawkins basically going "yeah, but it's all bullshit and trickery when you get right down to it, isn't it?" and the humphrey going "well, no, it works"

Edit: should've included the link uk.youtube.com/watch?v=e1AQPue7FEM&feature=channel_page
(MrChimp previously Monsieur, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:57, archived)
# VIKING FUNERAL FOR THE CONDOM
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:37, archived)
# Good Lord, is this all you've got to worry about?
I might have got the wrong end of the stick, but this isn't making me fumble down the side of the settee for a panic, looking for my list of governing bodies to complain to via strongly worded letters.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:37, archived)
# Yes it does, doesn't it.
doesn't it.Have some pix what I done at the weekend:





CFB
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:39, archived)
# fucking hell, those are AWESOME!
*click!*
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:41, archived)
# Gosh thank you, Sir!
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:44, archived)
# DO YOU ANSWER THE DOOR Y/N
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:41, archived)
# PROTIP: CHOOSE N AT THIS POINT
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:43, archived)
# On that 2nd pic
is that someone leaning on a window having a wank?
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:42, archived)
# Of course.
What other sort of pictures are worth doing?
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:43, archived)
# A woman flicking the bean
as if she's playing subbuteo and is taking a corner?
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:45, archived)
# Well yes.
There are those shots.

Just off to the toilet. Back in 5.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:46, archived)
# I can hear his mum shouting
"oi, get your greasy fingers off of that window I just cleaned them this morning...."
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:42, archived)
# She's too busy mutating into some sort of unholy llama/toaster crossover
that intends to take over the world and enslave humanity.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:47, archived)
# Epic work Vags
Feels a lot like Rorschach (reading Watchmen at the mo)
(I helped save b3ta! Bela Lugosi's Dad, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:53, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:41, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:52, archived)
# I hate to break it to you...
But posting your opinion on the internet is pissing into the wind.

Especially on BBC Have Your Say.



(Obamanable Snowman, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:44, archived)
# I LISTEN TO RADIO 4
I KNOW WHAT THIS IS ABOUT
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:44, archived)
# Phew
I was beginning to think I dreamed the whole thing.
(I helped save b3ta! Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:47, archived)
# YOU SHOULD BECOME A SLEEP THERAPIST
I CAN TOTALLY TRAIN YOU
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 10:46, archived)