B3ta Beard-off 2008

Christmas eve' marks the culmination of the 2008 b3ta beard growing competition! The winner of which has the satisfaction of knowing they have a lovely beard and can offer it around friends to stroke...

Rules are as follows:

1. NO Trimming

2. Edges may be tidied/straightened to provide beard/skin contrast and to conform to acceptable job standards (help prevent the boss calling you a tramp)

3. No mascara. However, dye is allowed but only in unnatural hair colours.

4. Images of each entrant to be uploaded no later than 5pm on Christmas eve' to be judged by QOTW ladies...

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Fri 7 Nov 2008, 16:26, Reply)

Interesting fact:

If you take ordinary hair-removal cream, put it in a glass bowl and microwave it for twenty-five seconds, it destroys the quaternary structure of the proteins in it.
The change in molecular shape means that it actually acts as a follicular stimulant.
With the Power Of Science^TM you'll have an epic face-forest in no time at all.

( Cawl, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 16:34, Reply)

I'm not doing this

unless Mythbusters or Jon Tickle tell me I can...

You don't fool me Sonny-Jim...

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Fri 7 Nov 2008, 16:44, Reply)

I think Kaol

needs the quaternary structure of his brain examined.

Either that or he's a mischievous little sod.

*suspects latter*

( thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:49, Reply)

Woop

Pictures of men with beards to look forward to *glees*

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 16:48, Reply)

Judges!

Do the judges have to sign up as well? Just so we know who'll be judging us.

(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 17:10, Reply)

I'd like to

offer my services as a judge.

I have cards to hold up and everything.

EDIT: I have just come across a rather nice badge in Wanderlust's profile... if I can be a judge, I can has one of those badges? Please?

EDIT again: I haz a BADGE! Thanks TGB! :D

( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 18:02, Reply)

If any of you bearded lovelies

would like to visit me before the 24th and recieve some lucky stroking* then please do.

*Beards only**




**Although it does depend how drunk I am...

( thealternativefact, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:35, Reply)

I iz judging

be afraid...

(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 8 Nov 2008, 12:34, Reply)

Judges so far

Are Lusty, Clendrix, HLT, Fuzzy and my good self :p

The no mascara rule keeps making me laugh!

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 8 Nov 2008, 12:36, Reply)

WOOKIEE!

Go on, sign up.

You could be like one of those 'special' kids who recives the Best Effort prize on School Certificate Evening.

Don't be afraid. The judges are open to bribery kind :)

( thealternativefact, Sun 9 Nov 2008, 12:16, Reply)

Can I be a judge please?

I have many more years of beardy worship than a lot of women on here.

In fact for a few years I would only go out with guys who had a goatee.

( girlinthehole, Sun 9 Nov 2008, 19:11, Reply)

I was gonna have a shave tonight

but after seeing this, I think I can keep it 'till Christmas!

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 9 Nov 2008, 22:57, Reply)

Good man!

*high fives*

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:05, Reply)

Fucking hell.

That is all.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 22:02, Reply)

I have ten days head-start

What a wonderful excuse not to replace my razor or shaving cream.

I reackon I'm going to win.. I look like Charles Manson after about 3 weeks of not shaving.

(lost, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 22:09, Reply)

I'm dropping out..

..it got a bit itchy and I was starting to look like a homeless so I had a shave.

(lost, Sun 16 Nov 2008, 12:07, Reply)

NOoooooo.......!

This cannot be allowed!

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 17 Nov 2008, 11:23, Reply)

The itchiness

is part of the fun!

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 17 Nov 2008, 20:49, Reply)

Oh go on then...

Perhaps this may be an opportunity for me to re-grow my 'sculpture'.

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 1:35, Reply)

ummm

when does it start? if its december the 1st I might have a crack at growing a comedy goatee*



*as thats all I can manage

(Halfy By light alone, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 17:21, Reply)

It's started!

GROW!

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Thu 13 Nov 2008, 10:53, Reply)

argh!

I can't perform under this pressure!

/shaves off at least 4 layers of facial epidermis in panic

(Halfy By light alone, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 13:36, Reply)

despite the fact that I refuse to shave off my existing beard

I'm going to enter anyway, just for the chance to show it off

I might shave it in an interesting way though....

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 13:46, Reply)

Fck it why not.

Are goatees allowed? I look about eleventy seven with a full one.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 14 Nov 2008, 9:04, Reply)

Yes, they certainly are!

Points are awarded not just for sheer volume.

( thealternativefact, Sun 16 Nov 2008, 11:46, Reply)

My beard turns different colours the longer it gets.

I may have to dye it.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 17 Nov 2008, 19:52, Reply)

I have decided that I'm going to

Grow the beard all big and bushy (it's coming along nicely!) and then sculpt it into various designs for comedy value before fully shaving.

I'm most looking forward to doing the 'Jeff from Byker Grove'.

:)

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 17 Nov 2008, 11:29, Reply)

I'm officially wussing out.

I looked like a 90 year old tramp who lives on crisps and Special Brew. I am now back to the Phil Mitchell school of designery stubble.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 24 Nov 2008, 7:58, Reply)

The no mascara rule is making me sad

I've got pretty dark hair on my head.
So why is my beard and 'tashe light brown?

( Cawl, Wed 26 Nov 2008, 23:34, Reply)

'tis the way of the world.

I'm unlucky enough to have a ginger stripe running right through the middle of my mid-brown beard, making me look like a mutant badger (bet TGB loves that ;))

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Thu 27 Nov 2008, 10:26, Reply)

For those of you who don't want to participate in this

here's a top tip for your ladyfriends.

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 21:53, Reply)

Today's bad news is that

I've had to gracefullly bow out of this compo as my face got all dry & itchy and started to look like a Leper's arse.

The good news however, is that during the shave, I documented with photos and attempted several styles before settling on the "'3 Muskateers' Moustache/Mungo Gerry Sideburns" combo.

Photos will be posted in accordance with compo rules on Xmas eve...

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 2 Dec 2008, 10:31, Reply)

oh bugger

wish i'd seen this before i trimmed it...
here's what it used to look like...

it's also my xbox profile background, and my facebook profile pic.

(polished turd 404 pixels wide, Sun 7 Dec 2008, 14:46, Reply)

Pfffft

I'm gonna sign up for this for the lawls. As I am a weedy teen who's "beard" is more like a bed of cotton wool than a forest of razor blades.

Anybody have any tips?

( St. Defenestration The REAL one, Sun 7 Dec 2008, 23:32, Reply)

Yes!

Conditioner.

Stops that awful beardruff.

(DeactivateThisDisaster No., Fri 12 Dec 2008, 17:13, Reply)

-click-

Hm.

My own growth should be about... 2 months long.

However, I should apologise in advance - I trimmed several weeks ago to emphasise the 'tache and chin/vag beard.. Am I still eligible?

(DeactivateThisDisaster No., Fri 12 Dec 2008, 17:12, Reply)

Certainly...

Most of the rest of us have given up now from what I gather... However, I did take some photos before/after my shave and will post...

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:24, Reply)

I did this too

I'm onto my second attempt however :)

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 8:02, Reply)

Seeing as I have a REALLY heavy bet on my facial growth...

Ok, it's for a pint - but I can't trim or shave until New Year.

So, I'm in :)

( snee held his breath since, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 14:48, Reply)

Im up for this.

Pics comin Christmas eve!

(Fluffster, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 6:08, Reply)

BEARDIES READY?

JUDGES READY?

I will be starting a new OT thread on Christmas Eve morning for all you hairy bastards to stick your whiskery pics onto.

DON'T PUT THEM HERE! This thread will disappear at midnight and we want this madness saved.

May the best beard win!
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 16:53, Reply)

Old calendar threads never disappear

You just have to follow the "this month" / "previous month" links on the top of the events-list. Or the month-name link on the top of an event.

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 24 Dec 2008, 16:18, Reply)

My God!

I'm more excited about this than Christmas itself.

( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 20:38, Reply)

Beard pics are to be posted

in this thread.

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sun 28 Dec 2008, 18:46, Reply)

And

the closing date for the challenge has been extended to January 5th, so all you festive slackers can get your act together.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 19:38, Reply)

How do I put myself up for inclusion?

I can't see anything to click. :(

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 0:39, Reply)

It's over and in the judging stages my friend...

You'll have to hang on until the b3ta beard-off 2009 comes around.


In other news, my pics have now been submitted.

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:56, Reply)