chicken house...
I decided that it was time that I started replicating the good life in our back garden by getting some chickens. I planned, sawed, nailed, bled, nailed, bled, sawed, bled.........until I completed my project. It was a thing of beauty and the chickens were delighted with there new home. The project was completed by about August last year and we were looking froward to reaping the rewards with fresh eggs.

We had 5 chicks which were nearing laying age about November time and I went out every morning in the expectation of finding some eggs (it felt like when I was younger and tried growing something which resulted in having to check every five minutes in the expectation that something had sprouted!). We live in Scotland and, like the rest of the country, last winter was freezing. So cold in fact the local stoat population got VERY hungry, so hungry they killed all my chickens one day, in daylight, while I was at work.

Blood, sweat, tears in building a beautiful house for them and NOT ONE SINGLE EGG FOR MY TROUBLES!!!!
(Studentken is looking for motivation on, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:33, 14 replies)

What I eggspected was and eggsellent eggucating story with a good yolk at the end.



This was not to be as the chicken littles were taken from us by your lax security Sir.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:57, closed)

"eggshellent", Shirley?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:47, closed)

What are you Sean fucking Connery now?

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:55, closed)

What's wrong with fucking Sean Connery?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:14, closed)

1. I'm not gay
2. I'm not gay
3. He is Scottish which means ginger pubes.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:27, closed)

I think they're probably grey by now

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:29, closed)

Grey with matted bits of deep fried Mars bar stuck in there.
I am not stereotyping in any way, I got told all this first hand by a man in the pub.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:33, closed)

I heard he wears a little toupe down there
I think the same guy in the same pub told me.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:53, closed)

www.b3ta.com/questions/wrongness/post791450
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:33, closed)

thestranded.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/cookie-monster-wtf-is-this.jpg
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:36, closed)

Methink the gaylord doth protest too much

(Godwin's Lawyer is more evil than Hitler, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 16:21, closed)

Arf
That is rich coming from somebody named Godwin.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 16:26, closed)

Hey man, we get it. You aren't gay
Nosir, thinking of Sean Connery's sweaty grey manboobs doesn't send shivers up your spine at all
(Godwin's Lawyer is more evil than Hitler, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 16:38, closed)

I was more a Roger Moore fan.
In an un-gay way of course.

*Struts to look macho*
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 16:53, closed)

*Raises eyebrow*

(Godwin's Lawyer is more evil than Hitler, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 19:12, closed)

make sure you have a guard-fox looking after them next time

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:01, closed)

^^top tip

(Studentken is looking for motivation on, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:50, closed)

buy some more
those stoats are probably hungry again
(Smale is stuffed, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:24, closed)

Hahahahahahahaha

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:47, closed)

I have given up..
and sold the hen house, it was just too painfull.........
(Studentken is looking for motivation on, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:58, closed)

Yeah, try again in the spring.
We got some in May at point of lay, they started laying about 3 weeks after we bought them. They've survived the winter so far, and have just been moved into a new house that we've made from a plastic playhouse.
(sabre-tooth monkey, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:39, closed)

a new house that we've made from a plastic playhouse.
That's a clever idea.
(richardm, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:49, closed)

Much cheaper than an eglu cube.
We've put two shelves in it as roosting space, harvested from a defunct mini greenhouse, and a couple of nesting boxes. The chickens climb through one of the windows. Can be cleaned with a pressure cleaner!

Edit: I'll take a snap or two and do a proper post.
(sabre-tooth monkey, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:28, closed)

I'd like to see it
My wooden henhouse is on its last legs and this sounds like a really good solution :)
(richardm, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 17:26, closed)

Short of taking my own snaps (I might not get round to it before the question closes)
It's basically the same house in the photos on this page.

www.wenatcheeworld.com/news/2010/sep/08/quincy-farmers-hope-to-see-crowds-at-farmer/?print

They've made a plywood door and let the chickens in at ground level. We made a ramp through one of the windows and raised the floor a bit, so we can reach in the door to collect eggs, without having to tread in all the chicken poo. I'll try to take a few snaps tomorrow morning though.
(sabre-tooth monkey, Wed 23 Nov 2011, 9:24, closed)

And these guys have done a much better job than we have.
pacycrochets.blogspot.com/search/label/Chickens

Again, it's the same house, and you can find them on eBay for not-much. They'll flat-pack to transport too, but you'll need a big car or a van to collect it.
(sabre-tooth monkey, Wed 23 Nov 2011, 9:27, closed)

Why did the Cluckston eat Rolf?
Hen-me-do!
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:41, closed)

Are you sure about the identity of the perpetrator?
(Because this gives me an opportunity to shoehorn this old one in:)

A weasel is weasily recognised, but a stoat is stoatally different.
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 17:48, closed)

It was a stoat..
but feel free to shoehorn ;)
(Studentken is looking for motivation on, Wed 23 Nov 2011, 10:01, closed)

the important thing to remember about putting chickens in your garden
is to stop calling the garden "the garden" and to start calling it "my land".
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 18:47, closed)

That's not how you say it.
It's not "My land", it's "my fuckin land." as in "get off my fuckin land"
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Wed 23 Nov 2011, 0:13, closed)